Wrong You Are: There Is Always Try

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

---Yoda

 

Ok, who am I to argue with a tiny Star Wars puppet that is beloved by so many, but…sorry my little green friend, you are so wrong. Because we are on this frustrating pandemic times calendar shift, it’s finally graduation season. Well, at least it is at my house. If I might just brag for a quick second, since December, my daughter has held a co-op job at a medical practice, passed the state boards for cosmetology, passed the state written and practical exam to be an EMT, and passed the national EMT license exam. She also navigated losing her last season of track, kept up with her duties as a class officer, and arranged college classes for the fall. I mostly stood by watching, and occasionally writing a check. The rest was all her.

 

Sure, that is a lot of doing. However, if you think there was no trying behind that, you’d be wrong. Like all of us, she tried, tried, and tried again. Also, like all of us, some of what she tried didn’t work out so well. And so it goes. We were chatting about everything that’s coming up for her in the next few months, and there will be a ton of choices she has to make. It’s daunting when you think of it.

 Last week I talked about decisions, and the times we have to choose between multiple options, even when none of them are ideal. There’s a big decision coming in November, and it’s going to be wicked hard for me to look at all the facts, search my soul, and try to pick the right one. So far, I think carrot cake will be the winner. Come November 6th, my birthday cake will be carrot cake, with cream cheese frosting. Decision 2020, made.

Kidding aside, I know that the Yoda quote is supposed to be inspiring, but honestly, it’s not for me. It's like this. I’m a big fan of space exploration. The research, the cutting-edge technology, the going where no man has gone before and all the rest is exciting, and, in my opinion, crucial to our survival. The Star Wars movies get that. Sure, it's fiction, but they show us that there’s so much out there. Truly, we should be looking skyward every day and finding new ways to get to, “infinity and beyond.” Space exploration starts with someone, somewhere, saying, “What if we tried this?” If you look back at the very beginnings of NASA, there were a lot of attempts that, well, flopped. Did we stop trying? Nope.

 

As we look toward schools reopening, the economy righting itself, and a political landscape that seems fraught with peril around every corner, it’s important to remember how to try. We need to think of new ideas, even ones that sound a little off the wall. Before this year, who would have thought of a drive-by commencement? Who could have conceived of a virtual baby shower, via a Zoom video call? An event I always love to attend is Harrington Reads, at Harrington Elementary in Lynn. I get to meet young readers, authors, and educators and share what they love about literacy. This year, it went virtual. All videos, posted on YouTube. It was that or cancel it altogether. Someone was smart enough to ask, “What if we tried to…” and then made it happen. That is try. It leads to doing, but first, there is try.

 

So far no one has asked for my advice on any of the conundrums we are facing, but, for the record, here it is: There must always be a way to try. No doing can happen before we dare to try. If you’re job hunting, try looking in a field you might not have considered. If you’re facing a decision on whether or not to send your kid back to school? Try it, see what happens. If it’s not the right move, move on to another option. My father was always spewing forth what he thought were incredibly wise words. Some were, and others, not so much. One of my favorite pieces of advice from him was this: “Brenda, the only part of your life that will be carved in stone are the dates on your headstone. Everything else is up for grabs. Try it all. If one path doesn’t work, go another way. You’ll get there.”  He was so right. Let’s keep trying.

 

 

The Value of Education

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

— ― Nelson Mandela

While it’s not normally accurate to say everybody agrees with or wants one particular thing, I can’t imagine anyone who would disagree with the value of an education. No one who has children wants them to have anything but the best possible education and even those who don’t have kids want it for themselves and their community. Where would any of us be without an educational system?

The problem becomes in finding agreement on what makes an education good. Is it state of the art equipment in our schools? High tech smart boards and iPads? Well, those things are nice, and there’s no question that they are an improvement over dusty chalkboards and a backbreaking load of books. They are just a tool though, they are not the substantive part of an education.

What about staff? For me it’s about who is standing next to the smart board. The right teacher can give a kid the world. My middle boy will graduate from high school next year. If you include the two years my oldest spent in the public integrated pre-school, I will have had at least one child in the school system here for 23 solid years. In those years, there have been maybe a half a dozen teachers and a few staff members who have been outstanding, who literally reached my children in a profound way. The rest were good too, for the most part. Like any family, we experienced a few that were sub par as well. That happens anywhere, but even they taught my kids something.

So you have staff and you have facilities and equipment, then there is curriculum, probably the most debated part of public education. Honors classes, AP classes, Everyday Math, Addison Wesley Math, Mass Frameworks, MCAS and so much more. It matters a lot but there’s a huge part of educating kids that’s being overlooked: vocational education.

If you were anywhere near my house last Monday around noon, you may have heard a little screaming. That’s because we received a letter in the mail saying that my daughter had been accepted to Essex Tech, a vocational school. We are calling it our “Golden Ticket.” It’s not that I don’t like the schools here in town; it’s that they don’t have what my daughter wants and needs and she’s not the only kid in that situation. Essex Tech accepts 360 kids in the Freshman class each year. They get hundreds and hundreds of applications for those seats. The facilities are brand new, the equipment is state of the art and the staff members I’ve met seem highly qualified and dedicated. My friends and family are so happy for Devin, but there’s been another reaction and it’s not pretty.

One person said to me, “Why would you let her go there? She’s not troubled, she’s not a behavior problem, don’t you want her to go to college instead of doing hair?” Actually, Devin might “do hair” and go to college too. Or she might go to nursing school, or open a salon, or work in graphic arts. She’s not sure yet, she’s only fourteen, but for her Essex is a phenomenal opportunity and one I think a lot of people don’t understand.

The kids there work hard. They take a full class load, just like any high school, and they also take a full load of classes in a chosen trade. They participate in varsity sports, they take honors and AP, and they go to college too. It’s not juvie, it’s not full of behavior kids or kids who can’t “hack it” in traditional high schools. Think about the person who cuts your hair, or builds your deck or fixes your leaky sink. Do you look at them as something less than your lawyer or your banker? Why? Would you say to any of them “Were you a behavior problem? How come you didn’t go to regular school? Did you get in trouble and get sent there?”

Not if you have any brains you wouldn’t. Throughout the process of Devin applying to Essex, got asked a lot of very pointed questions about why I’d let her go to “beauty school” and miss out on going to college. A lot of patronizing looks, sighs and “Oh. Well...not everyone is into academics.” These were not people I give a rat’s bum about so it doesn’t matter, but one thing does. More of this kind of education is needed, because while we were literally jumping for joy at our house, some kids were not. The waiting list for Essex has hundreds of families hoping that their golden ticket comes too. All our children deserve an education that will help them succeed, but one size does not fit all, not even close. Every child matters, even the ones who don’t follow the typical path.