Kicking and Screaming

"I simply do not think that yelling, swearing, threatening or belittling will get you to the place you want to be faster than kindness, understanding, patience and a little willingness to compromise."

---Rachel Nichols

This quote really hit home for me recently, and I was all about the Zen. Taking things as they come, learning to wait, developing patience and understanding; that was going to be my new normal. I was going to be kind and benevolent; listening more and talking less and the world was going to sit up and notice and, maybe even give me a parade. A quiet, slow, ceremony with lots of peace and compassion, much like myself…and then I woke up. Seriously, who the feck do I think I am?

No one who has spent more than ten minutes with me can picture me as a peaceful presence, staring at the sky and welcoming the universe or something. More often than not, if I'm looking skyward, it's because there's a couple of mean squirrels in the trees over my driveway, pelting me with acorns and chattering at me as I threaten and belittle them. Swearing? Oh yes, definitely. That's why I had to write a whole book because this is a family paper; some things cannot be said here, and I'm trying to behave, so if you want the entire story, buy the book.

The issue is real, however. It will come as no surprise to anyone who hasn't been under a rock for the last 18 months, that we are a land divided. While it's not quite the Civil War, and brothers are, thankfully, not fighting each other on the blood-soaked fields of Gettysburg, within the political arena, and in our own social circles, there is a great divide. It's real, and it's growing wider every day. I don't ever remember it being this polarized. I was a wee tot when the Vietnam war was going on, but I do remember my mother telling us about the time a neighbor found out that her son had been killed in Vietnam. She recalled seeing the car pull up, a Marine and a priest get out and she knew immediately what was going on. All of a sudden it was real and not just some jittery footage on the nightly news.

Today, of course, it's different, and the news is a heartbeat away. Something happens thousands of miles away, but we know about it immediately. It's a whole different landscape and dealing with it is quite a task. That's what I see as an issue. While we want to "meet in the middle" our landscape, politically, is this side or that side. With no middle ground. That doesn't work for me, not at all.

Believe me I'm not a person who wants to hold hands and buy the world a Coke. I'm much too cranky for that. Buy your own damn drink, unless it's my birthday or St. Patrick's Day. Then again, is this separation good for us? Is this what we want?  Wouldn't it be better for us to reach out to those with whom we disagree and ask, "Can we talk?" Wouldn't that be a better idea? I swear I don't know, but I do know that we, as a society, have gone past the idea of working together and have moved on to "Us" vs. "Them." How is that helpful? Oh, right it's not.

Believe me, I have yelled, I have sworn, I have threatened. Yet, here we are, still divided. Man, that has to stink, right? Here I am, a newspaper columnist and I can't fix the world or even the disagreement I see in my own life, how can that be? My father, who would be ninety years old this week, had he lived, would be laughing his butt off at me at this point because as much as he believed in me, he knew that change had to come from more than one person's ranting. Most of us cannot fix what we feel is wrong; that is just reality. We can shout, and cry and stamp our feet, but the world goes on, regardless of what we might think. I refuse to believe, however, that nothing can be done. I will be looking for what I can do, even if it doesn't seem like much. Fair warning, there will be swearing.  Who's with me?