The Myth of Multitasking

 "There's a temptation to multitask everything, but you can't multitask presence"

---Cindy Crawford

I love it when a supermodel can also speak coherently and wisely. It keeps me from hating them and their perfect bodies, great hair, and cute boyfriends. Multitasking seems to be this standard that has been set as if it's the goal, the brass ring, the one talent we all need. It will solve every problem and allow us to overcome any obstacle. We just have to do more, all at once if possible, and there you have it, success on every level.

OK, are we done laughing yet?

No one can pay attention to everything around them; some things are going to get ignored. Not a problem for me; I can ignore stuff better than most. One look at my kitchen sink and the disorderly bookshelves in my living room will tell you that. Multitasking is how many people cope with a very busy schedule. Sometimes, there simply isn't time to get everything done if they only work on one thing at a time. To a certain extent, we all multitask. Lots of people walk around the house straightening up the clutter while talking on the phone and getting dinner ready, right? I mean, I've never done that, but I hear it happens. So, sure, it's possible. But is it really what we should be doing, in all areas of our lives?

Say you're driving down the street, the radio in your car is on, maybe a kid is singing "Baby Shark" or some other vocal torture is happening. There's traffic because other people have the nerve to be out when you're out. Your GPS is pinging because you missed a turn, and you decide that this is a good time to answer a text from your boss about the cover sheets on your TPS reports. Why would anyone do this? What is the benefit? If you text and drive, it's eventually going to go very badly for you, and perhaps others as well. Why is it that multitasking is so prevalent in cars? Everyone is in their car like it's some bubble of safety, where nothing bad can happen. Right. What could possibly go wrong in a 3,000-pound piece of machinery, hurtling down the road at 35 mph, while the driver sends a text, takes a call, drinks coffee, and touches up their lipstick in the rearview?

So OK, we shouldn't multitask while driving, got it. What about while working? Honestly, I know lots of highly productive people, and they are the ones that have 57 tabs open on their computer, while in a meeting, delivering a PowerPoint presentation, and probably knitting hats for babies while they're at it. I envy this ability. It just seems so efficient, but, neurologically, it's really not.

There's research, once again, we need to believe the science. Most people are not actually multitasking, at least as far as what's happening in their brains. When you do one thing, that you know how to do, it's learned memory, and your brain recalls it. We all know how to put the key in the ignition and start the car, followed by snapping on the seatbelt and looking in the rearview mirror. Our brains have learned that, but it needs to be recalled each time. This takes mere nanoseconds, but it has to happen.

The work we have to do to learn something new, however, is also a drain on brain function, so while you're getting ready to back out of the driveway, you really cannot be processing the news on the radio or the latest school drama from your kid. There's only so much that can happen at the same time inside your noggin. When you multitask, your brain isn't doing double duty. It's switching back and forth, from one task to another, this to that and back again, like a rabbit on Red Bull. Neither task gets the full bandwidth though; something will always be lost.

The same is true about being present for important moments, it's just way less scientific. If you're at your kid's school play, that you've never seen, but you're shooting a few emails to your boss, making a shopping list, and scoring some points on Words With Friends, you will miss the dialogue, miss your kid's entrance, and so what if it's on video, it's not the same. Why even go, if you're not soaking up and enjoying what you came for? How do I know this? I have, at times, been that phone-addicted person, been that multitasking hot mess wannabe who just needs to get this one last text sent, check on that one email. Guess what? I missed out. The fun moments, silly kid comments, the last three steps at the train station, all big misses. Trust me, all of that hurts. Stay present, stay engaged, because multitasking is about quantity, and right now, quality matters more. The to-do list will keep. The one-of-a-kind moments will not.

Making Time Stand Still

“It is not enough to be industrious; so are the ants. What are you industrious about?”—Henry David Thoreau

Recently I was looking at my calendar, trying to make several different events happen in a very short period of time. After wrestling with the complex schedules of a bunch of different people, it all worked out, but honestly, it was like herding cats on Red Bull. Why are we all so busy? It was like a giant cluster of Venn diagrams of overlapping commitments, sports games, jobs, and activities. 

Our family is not one that over-schedules. My children don’t do five varsity sports, four school clubs, three part-time jobs, two service projects, and a partridge in a…well you get the idea. The grown boys have jobs, as do my daughter and I, and she has high school and one sport per season. We are not celebrities or sought-after athletes, but wrangling everyone’s schedule sometimes makes it seem that way.

My general feeling has always been that much of what is going on when we say we are “so busy” is really not all that. If something life-altering were to come up in amongst the appointments, homework, games, and responsibilities, we’d make it happen. The events that don’t matter would fall away and what must be done, would get done. It always does, right? It’s just so frustrating in the middle of it when all you want is to know where you have to be and when you have to be there.

 As always, my inability to be organized, physically and mentally, is usually to blame, but I’m beginning to think it’s more than that. Yes, there are times when I cannot find my arse in the bathtub, much less fight my way out of a scheduling conflict, but one of these days, it’s just going to hit critical mass. The need to simplify will take over and the next thing you know I will head for a cabin in the woods with a book, a bag of Fritos and my Snoopy blanket, completely cutting myself off from technology, errands, and my Day Planner. Ok, wait a second; that isn’t ever going to happen. I’d be hightailing it home by supper, twitching from iPhone withdrawal and a near-fatal case of FOMO. Still, sometimes it’s tempting to just walk away from everything we “have” to do.

I’ve seen a quote, from Mother Theresa, about not using time as an excuse. We should not say “I don’t have time” because every person has the same amount of time. We all get 24 hours a day. We have to sleep, most of us have to work and care for our families, but along with all of that, how much time do we all waste each day? Whether it’s staring at our phones, surfing the Internet to find out if penguins have knees (they do, you just can’t see them under the feathers) or binge-watching the latest sci-fi series on Netflix, the time is there if we want to do the work to find it. It’s not easy, not even a little bit, and to those who always look like they have everything completely pulled together and never miss an appointment or muck up a deadline, you have my utmost respect and admiration. Maybe it’s a perception issue? Perhaps we are all struggling to tame our calendars, organize time with family and friends and slow things down a little? What if it’s just that some people make it look easier and we are all just madly scrambling around crossing off dates and loading up to-do lists?

I'm going to try not to concentrate on how each day begins or ends, regarding time and tasks.  I won't think about how many hours or minutes I have left to get everything done. It's like seeing a movie in a big screen theater versus a small television set. I don't want to miss any part of it; I want the full width of whatever I do. Constantly checking my calendar, my children’s schedules, work deadlines, and appointments takes away from the meaningful experiences I want to have. Running on time is for trains, planes, and marathoners. Being present in the moments that matter is more important.