Ya Gotta Believe

Going on right now in politics is a tug of war over who we should believe. A powder keg of accusations, anger, and vitriol that, I guarantee, will accomplish almost nothing. I’m not touching that issue. It’s so far above my abilities and pay grade that I will leave it to others whose job it is to sort out. The evidence suggests it’s beyond them too, but they signed up for it, so they can duke it out. 

He said, she said and who do you believe seem to be the questions swirling around. Well, we can all answer that for ourselves, as we should. With thoughtful consideration, respect and hey, being a little nicer to each other while we’re at it. What is more important, is, do we believe in ourselves? Do we have the courage of our convictions, whatever they may be, or do we shrink back, like Eyore in Winnie the Pooh? Do we sit back and say, “Oh, no, I could never do that, not me, oh no, I am nowhere near good enough.” Says who? Who convinces us that we shouldn’t reach out and make a big leap at something? How does it happen that we become our own worst critics? This week, it became clear to me that I needed to change course in a few areas. When something doesn’t work, you fix it, or if it’s beyond repair, you ditch it.

Let’s think about careers. Eating, wearing clothes and having a home are all habits I’d like to continue, so I work. I’m certainly not alone in that. I’m also not alone in wanting to do well in whatever job I have, because why bother if you’re not going to do your best? It’s not a brag to say that I know how to write, I know how to gather facts, cite sources, and make complex concepts a little more engaging. As anyone would, I take pride in that. On the flip side, I can’t add numbers higher than 21, I can’t sing or dance, and I’m a miserable failure at cribbage, so it all balances out. Recently though, someone told me that I screwed up on something and I was to blame for something pretty important going wrong. When someone says to you that you stink at the very thing you take the most pride in, it’s a wicked kick in the head. We’ve all been there, right? Isn’t it awful?

The reason why it’s so agonizing is that losing a solid belief in yourself is like losing an eye. Not quite as painful and bloody, and you won’t scare the dog, but it will affect how you see every situation. Nothing will be clear because that core belief, in your abilities, your efforts and your choices, is the lens through which we perceive everyone and everything else around us. If it’s cracked? Fuggettaboutit, you’re going to bump into things and fall down a lot.

For a few days, I believed I was a screw-up. Hook, line, and nasty email, I 100% bought it. Then a whole lot of events fell into place. People acted in ways I never saw coming. Some background came to the forefront and made it all so much more apparent. Yes, we need that core belief in ourselves, but sometimes it gets forgotten because it’s intangible while someone screeching at you in real time, is easily heard and seen. At the end of one very hectic day, everything had finally righted itself and guess what? I won. Won, in the sense that I got my feet back under me, pivoted on my kicking red heels and walked on, confident again in what I have done, what I know I can do, and what I will continue to do.

There is no dress size, no amount of money, no shiny new car or toy that will ever feel as good as genuinely knowing your worth and being right about who you are. It’s petty, but if I could have gotten away with it, someone last week would have gotten a big, fat “Neener, neener” from me. I resisted the urge, but barely. It remains to be seen how it will all shake out, but that’s the fun part, right? Once you know your own strength, you’re unstoppable.

The political arena will continue to be a hotbed of controversy and conflict. Hasn’t it always been? We all have opinions on who should be believed, but it’s probably a better idea to have a firm grasp on what we believe about ourselves before we look at anyone else.