The Binge, Revisited

 “Netflix gives you 15 seconds between episodes to decide whether or not you’re doing anything with your life today”

--- Internet Meme

Image by Rob Dobi via https://bit.ly/2PT63qy

 

A little over five years ago, I was stuck at home, unable to go out because of a health issue. No, there wasn’t a pandemic, everyone else was out and about, eating in restaurants, shopping in stores, and going barefaced. My issue was a new hip, and honestly, at least back then I had an excuse to lie around and be unproductive. Now? We’ve reached the Pinterest portion of the pandemic, and everyone is all over social media By everyone, I mean, not me. Sorry, but artisanal bread, kale chips, and gourmet chick pea salad is not how I roll, even if I am trapped in the house.

 

Initially, I bought a few sacks of flour, collected enough butter and eggs to choke a horse, and stockpiled a collection of Tasty and Buzzfeed food videos of deliciously decadent treats. Haven’t made any of them yet. The reason? I've fallen down the rabbit hole of online streaming. Between Hulu, Netflix, YouTube, and Amazon Prime, there are several thousand movies and shows to choose from, and honestly, binge-watching has become my video Valium of sorts. If I can’t sleep, Mary Tyler Moore, James Bond, Bob Newhart, and classic film noir movies are always there for me.

 

Five years ago, I wrote about the beauty of the binge, and how when there is downtime, it helps to have a distraction. In 2015, I wrote:

“What’s the answer? A good binge, that’s what. Now before you think anything untoward, I am not talking about vodka or chocolate cake. The new “Lost Weekend” is known as “binge-watching” and it’s perfect for those times when you don’t want to deal with the crapfest that passes for entertainment on some networks. There are a lot of ways to binge-watch too, depending on what you have available.”

That is still mostly true, except now, the crapfest is, sadly, the national news. It seems that everything is blowing up, from COVID numbers to fireworks factories, and Twitter rants, and that gets old after a while. Back then, however, if I couldn’t find something good online, there was Chet’s Video, with their delicious popcorn and candy. They even delivered movies for me while I healed. I miss that place.

The bonus now though? With online streaming, the viewer is the boss. It might be just a coincidence, but the TV “clickah” is actually called the “remote control.” How perfect is that? We’re all stuck learning remotely, working remotely, and doing so much else in an isolated way, and now we get to push some buttons and rule the world. Well, at least the screen anyway. I can wield a remote like a pro, zipping through channels at a seizure-inducing pace. I can’t make the pandemic go away. I am powerless to open the schools, I can’t sit on my favorite barstool at the Barnacle, munching on clams and sipping the perfect Bloody Mary. No hugging my friends, or traveling, or going to a ballgame. So much of what was normal in the “Before Times” just can’t happen now. So, this is one part of life that is entirely up to me, and you bet your sweet bippy, I’m going for it.

Back then, it was frustrating to be physically limited. No bike rides, no badminton matches, I couldn’t even walk Penny the Pug. Now the limits are different, and while I'm grateful to be healthy, it's still frustrating. We are moving into a new phase though, and just maybe in a few months, some of what we are missing will come back. In the meantime, I will be turning away from the 24-hour news cycle of death and destruction, and going for the beauty of the binge. 

 

 

 

 

Unpopular Opinions

"All progress resulted from people who took unpopular positions."

---Adlai Stevenson

Since so many of us have been homebound lately, social media is becoming a way to share jokes, memes, Netflix suggestions and other, well, nonsense. I'm annoying people with too many pictures of my pug, but again, I don't accept the premise that there can be too many pictures of a pug. 

Man, I need to get out of the house. 

Anyway, unpopular opinions are a hot topic if you're sick of everything being about the C-word (Corona, that is).  While chatting with a few people, via social media distancing, of course, here are a few opinions that are not popular, but are fiercely held by some of my friends.

·      More than a few women I know do not like pedicures. While a pedi is usually seen as a lovely, pampering indulgence, and, by some, an absolute necessity, I have friends who'd rather have a root canal than a pedicure. From the time it takes, the price, and the squick factor, to the spa environment and experience, these women are not having it. One of my friends finally realized she disliked it so much she felt she was essentially paying someone to torture her. 

·      Travis (not his real name) is a sexy beast. He claims his wife agrees, but she had no comment. In his experience, he hasn't found that a lot of people share this opinion, but he's convinced of it. Points for confidence, you have to give him that. You go, Travis.

·      Going to a trade school is a better choice than going to a traditional four-year college. Better? Well, that is highly dependent on the kid, but my friend was right when she talked about the attitude that vocational education is for the "dumb" kids or the delinquents. All the labor statistics, career projections, and financial concerns over college debt prove that trade school is a phenomenal option. Still, there is a general feeling among many that it's somehow, "lesser than" or inferior to, a four-year college path. I have a kid in trade school; unpopular or not, her high school experience has been nothing short of amazing. She's also headed for another unpopular option, community college. Oh, the shame! 

·      Leashes on toddlers are a good option. Sure, some parents cringe when they see a kid on a safety lead, but think about it. Suppose you have an active toddler, and a newborn and the stroller/backpack/death grip isn't cutting it. Then what? If you're at a fair, or near a busy street, a rambunctious little one could dart right away from you. Try not to judge a parent using a harness or lead. One of my kids was a runner, and no amount of threats, discipline or whatever else the "experts" advised was working. I regret not using one a few times; it would have made some outings much less stressful.

·      Nothing smells as good as a horse. What? This is insanity! Hot cinnamon rolls, buttered popcorn, bacon frying, ocean waves, French fries, the list of wonderful smells is longer than your arm, and nowhere does it say, "horse." I love horses, there's never been a police horse that didn't get a pat on the nose from me if I come across one, but that doesn't mean smelling like Mr. Ed is an option. A nice whiff of a barn and some hay? Sure. Saddle sweat? Not so much.

Obviously, everyone's definition of popular or unpopular will vary, but that's the good part, right? What if we couldn't while away some of this downtime arguing the merits of pineapple on pizza, wine in plastic cups, or the proper way to put toilet paper (if you can find it) on the roll? We'd be even more bored, and we wouldn't learn anything new about our friends and neighbors. Now that I know one friend thinks mashed potatoes are an abomination, I can work on changing her appalling lack of culinary knowledge. Stay well, people. Summer is coming.

Top Ten Pandemic Positives

Originally, I wrote this to my wonderful group of Badminton friends, because we are not playing anymore. Yes, a first world problem, and truly, I'm glad we are all being safe, but it was a chance for me to reflect on some positives.

TOP TEN BENEFITS FROM CORONA VIRUS/COVID 19

10) Clean hands. I shudder to think what has been happening before now, but thankfully, now people are doing better.

9)  I have time to declutter parts of my house. I’m not actually DOING it, mind you, but I have time.

8) The Charmin Toilet Paper Bears are now national heroes. I do so love it when a big, fat, hairy creature is recognized, it gives me hope as we exit winter and realize the damage four months of minimal shaving maintenance has done.

7) Anxiety over food shortages, illness, family members with chronic health conditions, and debate over how long germs live on surfaces has forced me to walk the feck away from social media and this is a GOOD THING.

6) I am so feckin caught up on laundry, I’ve discovered I might be a laundry savant. Could I parlay this into a job? Which I desperately need? Perhaps.

Perhaps material for medical masks?

5) I take joy in something simple like “Wanna take a ride?” “Wanna go for a walk?” Essentially, I have become my pug, Penny. Not all together a bad thing.

4) Day drinking is no longer entirely frowned upon. So far, I am resisting, but it is nice to know that if I decide to have half a glass of wine at 2pm, no one will tell me I need a meeting.

3) I’m cooking more. Wait, that isn’t really a benefit, to anyone but Stop and Shop, but it’s made me realize I can feed my family without greasy bags and pizza boxes. Winning!

2) I appreciate my friends so much more. I’m going to become one of those obnoxious huggers when this is over

1)    I realize how much I treasure a the first world pleasure of getting to gather at my badminton club, the Gut, see women who inspire me, be supported despite my level (right around an F I would say) of play, and be welcomed, every week. This was about my badminton buddies, but honestly, it transcends social groups. I am so grateful for all of my friends, even from a social distance of six feet. And completely loving that technology means I can stay, at least a little, in touch

GO FULL OUT, LET OUT ALL THE REINS

“Every year I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will risk nothing, and which shirking pain, misses happiness as well. No one ever yet was the poorer in the long run for having once in a lifetime ‘let out all the length’ of the reins.”

— Mary Cholmondeley

How many times have we heard someone say, “Just once, I’d like to...?” Despite my advanced age there are a few things that haven’t happened to me yet. I don’t mean a bucket list, there’s no bucket list in my life. I would rather not spend time planning things to do before “kicking the bucket.” Enjoying my life now, with my friends, my children and my work keeps me busy enough. A bucket list implies that planning is taking place because someday I will be dead. Truthfully, there’s no time for that. Even when cancer came calling, my focus wasn’t doing a bunch of things before taking the big dirt nap, it was how to avoid pushing up daisies in the first place.

There are still a lot of firsts to come for me, hopefully. Lately though, some of my friends have done things they never thought they’d do, either on purpose or through a fluke turn of fate and it’s been amazing for them. None of it was really planned either, it just sort of unfolded.

Christmas day was a record breaker. It was warmer here than in Las Vegas, California and Arizona. So what did my amazing friend Heather do? She and her husband and their friends took a swim. They hot-footed it down to the beach, donned swimsuits and dove right into the surf. On a clear New England Christmas Day, they swam in the Atlantic Ocean, 15 miles from Boston. Who does that? They do. It was amazing seeing the pictures from this once-in-a-lifetime feat. Not even Al Gore and his “Inconvenient Truth” could have imagined it would be 68 degrees on Christmas in this part of the country. Heather and her family didn’t sit on their front step and marvel at the clear day, they ran into it head first, beach towels flapping. That’s what I’m talking about. Letting out all the reins can be wicked fun.

A friend who lives in Vermont goes to her family “Leftover Party” every year on the day after Christmas. Everyone brings something that didn’t get eaten at Christmas dinner the day before. Now, this is Vermont and it’s December. Naturally the party has always been indoors. This year though? For the first time ever, her family, or at least the 40 or so people that were around this year, gathered at their summer camp. Their lake home is a most amazing place, perched on a lovely lawn above Mallet’s Bay with a Victorian home that has stood for over 100 years and a wrap around porch. It was shuttered for the winter, as it always is, but the family decided a bonfire was a good way to celebrate the warm weather. Why be indoors when it was a bright clear day and 45 degrees? Normally it’s deserted in the winter; their camp is a summer thing. No one goes there in the winter. It was the first-ever “Leftover Party” bonfire, and it was historic. There had never been a day after Christmas that was warm enough to have the party outside, and at first, everyone said, “We can’t do that!” But they did, and it was epic.

Letting out the reins and going full speed ahead is something we should all do more often. I had lunch last week with some good friends. It’s always a nice time laughing like schoolgirls over good food and adult beverages. This time though, at the suggestion of I forget who, we took it up a notch and didn’t just all go home after lunch. We decided to take our act on the road, or at least across the street, to a local pub. We played pool, fed quarters into the jukebox, and threw darts. In the middle of a rainy Tuesday, well before 5 o’clock anywhere, we danced, we laughed and then we all worked out rides home with designated drivers because we may be fools, but we are not stupid.

It’s a new year. Don’t make a resolution, and don’t make a bucket list. Just wait for the right moment, I promise it will come, and then giddy up and go for it. Enjoy.