Shut It Down

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

---Stephen Furtick

Photo courtesy of Amy Bucher 

Social distancing. We all know what that is now, right? Just four months ago, some might have thought it was the new way to dump your boyfriend. No more uncomfortable talks, or claims of, “It’s not you, it’s me.” You just stop taking his calls, start going to different clubs and restaurants, and boom, done.

 Nope. If only it were that simple.  Social distancing is very generic, it's a polite way of saying, “Get the heck away from me you snoogering petri dish of peril.” It’s likely going to become the iconic phrase of 2020, and while staying at home, backing up a few feet in the grocery line, and washing your hands so often they look like chicken talons, has become our standard now, what about another kind of distancing? Has anyone considered the impact social MEDIA distancing could have?

When COVID-19 first started to ramp up, and restaurants, stores, pubs, and schools were closed, where did many of us turn?  To our digital world. To smartphones, to Tweet out every bit of outrage, disappointment, and fear. To Facebook, to post ridiculous junk science videos from YouTubers that can’t spell, but should be regarded as epidemiological experts. We researched malaria drugs to treat the virus because someone from our book group said it was real. We read “news” stories from sites that didn’t have a single editor or journalist writing or fact-checking anything, and we ran with them, plastering links all over Reddit, Tumblr, and anywhere else we could punch up on a keyboard. Then we blamed the media. Because that makes sense, right? It wasn’t us, it was them!

It’s no secret that I am a huge screen addict. Whether it’s my phone, my laptop, or my hourly Google alerts, it’s nearly constant with me, and it’s definitely been a problem from time to time. Every so often I’ve had to pull the plug, and just not engage in any of it. Normally, when I’ve stepped away it’s made me twitchy because while I’d like to call it being informed and engaged with my world, it’s really just that I’m nosier than everyone’s odd Aunt Helen, and tech-savvy enough to know how to snoop more efficiently than peering out my window with the lights off. Giving up my social media crack pipe was hard.

Then along comes the C-word. No, not that one! Corona. COVID19. The onslaught of information, misinformation, and, well, insanity, on social media became a curve no amount of isolation could flatten. Entire pages of the World Wide Web became all about mask-shaming, finger-pointing, and plain old tattling. We could instantly see that some lunatic was licking produce and posting a video of it as a “Corona challenge.” We saw armed men and women literally take to the streets to square off against nurses, who, not for nothing, had to stop caring for patients to deal with tantrums over haircuts and shoe shopping. For me, the tipping point was when some half-wit was ranting that his right to a meal at Golden Corral was more important than his elderly neighbor’s life, eloquently stating, “We’re all going to die someday anyway, why can't I have a nice meal?”

That’s when my Internet intermittent fasting plan kicked in. No, it’s not going to help me ditch the extra pounds, or repair my bank balance, but it’s done wonders for my stress level. It’s hard to stay focused and rational when you’re up to the wee small hours going down the rabbit hole of alt-whatever websites, shopping on Amazon, and Googling yet another conspiracy theory. I set up hours where no social media was allowed. I locked my phone in my desk drawer during meals. The laptop was closed and put away at 9 PM every night. OK, well, no, not every night, no one is perfect, and sure, I fell off the wagon a few times. I’m working on it. The times that I did disengage though? Those were the nights I slept better, the mornings I didn’t wake up with a pessimistic view of nearly everything. I didn’t have to look at everyone’s new hobbies, nature walks, and expert homeschooling moments and feel like an utter failure. There was way less looking around my cluttered space and comparing it to the Pinterest-perfect pantries full of kale chips and alphabetized spice racks.

Then, the unthinkable happened. I bought a puzzle. A jigsaw puzzle, with 300 pieces. Amateur hour for some, but a talented local artist, Carol Eldridge, has created one, with scenes of the harbor, sailboats, and sunny days. It should be noted, much like people who are nearsighted or can’t skip, I have almost zero ability to put together a puzzle that has more than 5 or 6 pieces. It might as well be rocket science for me. Yet that puzzle will be completed, probably this weekend. As G-d as my witness, those pieces will come together and make something suitable for framing. As we move toward opening up the outside world again, maybe we should also consider shutting down our online pursuits, or at least cutting back? That’s my plan, at least until this puzzle is done. Stay tuned, be well, and when this mess is over, come by and see the finished product!

Writer For Hire

Careers, like rockets, don’t always take off on time. The trick is to always keep the engine running.”

— Gary Sinise

Full disclosure, this quote has appeared in this space before, however, it remains true. Back in the day (and ‘the day’ is a moveable feast depending on your age) it wasn’t uncommon for a person to stay with the same company for decades. If you found a good job, you stuck with it. It’s not that way now. Some people plow through jobs like their career path is an all-you-can-eat buffet. They try everything. Nothing wrong with that if you can manage it financially or otherwise. 

There are also layoffs and downsizing. Some employees get walked out with a cardboard box of their things on a random Tuesday, and they are shellshocked and not sure how to continue. This career strategy is a tough gig. If you don’t have a winning lottery ticket, chances are you have a job. Think about so many of the federal employees who are on the job now, without pay. I’ve been a federal employee; it’s not all service and sunshine. Most of the furloughed employees cannot just turn around and get another job. Security clearances, conflicts of interest and the like prevent some workers from moonlighting while they wait for the toddler wing in Washington to get its act together. I’ve been in their shoes, and my heart is with them because it has to be awful.

Recently I had a reasonably good shot at a new job, that was going to be in my same field, but more travel, more money, more challenges. It was a near lock. Emphasis on “near.” I left the job I was in, and, almost on cue, the new job bonked. Kind of like the Charlie Brown and Lucy football scenario. I finally got up the nerve to make a move and AUUUUUGGGGH; I was on my keister. 

It happens. Normally the resumes would be flying out the door immediately, and the pounding of pavement would start. Except that a few family things got in the way; my children lost their last remaining grandparent, so the search had to wait. It’s back on now though, and it’s been…interesting. The first instinct is to be all “OMG; I will take anything, I need a job.” 

That is the financial panic talking. Given that since graduating from college my career path has included what seems like 700 jobs, there are very few career positions that I haven’t looked at or done. Everything from waitressing, to office administration work, to travel, Internet start-ups, social media, journalism and online media marketing have been a part of paying my bills. Some of those jobs were awful, so at least that’s a start, understanding what kind of work isn’t for me is valuable knowledge.

So, what now? How do we market ourselves? How do we convince an HR manager, a company owner or a recruiter to “pick me, pick me?” While we all like to believe we are special and unique, there are hundreds of people out there with the same skills I have. No hiring manager is looking at my resume and saying, “You are familiar with Word, PowerPoint, and Excel? That’s incredible!” My kids could use those by the time they were in 5th grade. I am, at my core, a writer, so it would seem like a no-brainer that describing my skills would come easily. Nope. Not even close.

So, asking around is good, right? Networking and getting out there and informational interviews are the way to go. Well, yes, that’s a start, but everyone you speak to has a different idea on strategy, so you wind up with a thousand opinions and still no job. Well, like Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, just keep going.” It’s true. It’s mind-boggling sometimes, but eventually, we all land where we are supposed to be.

I’m learning a lot from the job search. It’s made me remember my last months of college when it was all about buying the first business suit, writing my first resume and going on interviews trying to sound coherent. With the many years behind me of work, jobs, and experience, it’s a very different process but stressful nonetheless. 

I’ve been so grateful for friends who have advised me, tossed some work my way when they could and just been there. It’s never easy to pick up the pieces when a plan goes awry, but it will happen. On the bright side, I’ve become really creative with my spending habits, and if the Marie Kondo bug ever hits me, I could have an outstanding yard sale with some of the stuff I have jammed in my closets from days gone by. 

Yet again I’m figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. No, wait, scratch that. I’m already a writer and an author and a parent. Not too shabby, right? The next opportunity will come and then who knows where it could take me. I might not have taken off for the stars yet, but the rocket ship is a go for launch, engine running.