Wrong You Are: There Is Always Try

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

---Yoda

 

Ok, who am I to argue with a tiny Star Wars puppet that is beloved by so many, but…sorry my little green friend, you are so wrong. Because we are on this frustrating pandemic times calendar shift, it’s finally graduation season. Well, at least it is at my house. If I might just brag for a quick second, since December, my daughter has held a co-op job at a medical practice, passed the state boards for cosmetology, passed the state written and practical exam to be an EMT, and passed the national EMT license exam. She also navigated losing her last season of track, kept up with her duties as a class officer, and arranged college classes for the fall. I mostly stood by watching, and occasionally writing a check. The rest was all her.

 

Sure, that is a lot of doing. However, if you think there was no trying behind that, you’d be wrong. Like all of us, she tried, tried, and tried again. Also, like all of us, some of what she tried didn’t work out so well. And so it goes. We were chatting about everything that’s coming up for her in the next few months, and there will be a ton of choices she has to make. It’s daunting when you think of it.

 Last week I talked about decisions, and the times we have to choose between multiple options, even when none of them are ideal. There’s a big decision coming in November, and it’s going to be wicked hard for me to look at all the facts, search my soul, and try to pick the right one. So far, I think carrot cake will be the winner. Come November 6th, my birthday cake will be carrot cake, with cream cheese frosting. Decision 2020, made.

Kidding aside, I know that the Yoda quote is supposed to be inspiring, but honestly, it’s not for me. It's like this. I’m a big fan of space exploration. The research, the cutting-edge technology, the going where no man has gone before and all the rest is exciting, and, in my opinion, crucial to our survival. The Star Wars movies get that. Sure, it's fiction, but they show us that there’s so much out there. Truly, we should be looking skyward every day and finding new ways to get to, “infinity and beyond.” Space exploration starts with someone, somewhere, saying, “What if we tried this?” If you look back at the very beginnings of NASA, there were a lot of attempts that, well, flopped. Did we stop trying? Nope.

 

As we look toward schools reopening, the economy righting itself, and a political landscape that seems fraught with peril around every corner, it’s important to remember how to try. We need to think of new ideas, even ones that sound a little off the wall. Before this year, who would have thought of a drive-by commencement? Who could have conceived of a virtual baby shower, via a Zoom video call? An event I always love to attend is Harrington Reads, at Harrington Elementary in Lynn. I get to meet young readers, authors, and educators and share what they love about literacy. This year, it went virtual. All videos, posted on YouTube. It was that or cancel it altogether. Someone was smart enough to ask, “What if we tried to…” and then made it happen. That is try. It leads to doing, but first, there is try.

 

So far no one has asked for my advice on any of the conundrums we are facing, but, for the record, here it is: There must always be a way to try. No doing can happen before we dare to try. If you’re job hunting, try looking in a field you might not have considered. If you’re facing a decision on whether or not to send your kid back to school? Try it, see what happens. If it’s not the right move, move on to another option. My father was always spewing forth what he thought were incredibly wise words. Some were, and others, not so much. One of my favorite pieces of advice from him was this: “Brenda, the only part of your life that will be carved in stone are the dates on your headstone. Everything else is up for grabs. Try it all. If one path doesn’t work, go another way. You’ll get there.”  He was so right. Let’s keep trying.

 

 

Galumphing About

ga·lumph

/ɡəˈləmf/

verb: INFORMAL

To move in a clumsy, ponderous, or noisy manner.

"She galumphed along beside him."

---Oxford English Dictionary

 The other day someone used this word to describe me (and they are not wrong) and while I thought it was a made-up word, Oxford says it’s real. It’s hard to argue with the big book of the mother tongue, so galumph it is. Seriously, my family doesn’t call me Grace because I look like that other famous Kelly girl, who was in the movies. They call me that because, more often than not, I galumph about, bashing into walls and dropping things. It’s been that way my whole life, and while it’s occasionally mortifying, it’s my normal.

When actress Jennifer Lawrence tripped up the stairs on the way to getting her Oscar in 2013, everyone thought she was delightful. It was a well-executed move; honestly, there aren’t a lot of people who can rock an evening gown, stilettos, and a face-plant, but she managed it. Twice, actually. When she arrived at the 2014 Oscars, she biffed it on the red carpet. America’s sweetheart, take two. Somehow it never works that way for me. My random gravity checks seem to happen most often in my kitchen, reaching for a can of frosting…I mean, an apple, and winding up Lulu’s over teakettle onto the floor. I did complete a glamour fall once, wearing a prom dress, and it was epic, but that was before E! and TMZ were around. Also, no red carpet, just a pesky sidewalk curb. It was also pre-social media, thankfully.

 

It’s not just my bones that get bumped around; there’s a real cost to my housewares budget. While paper plates and plastic reduce some risk, you know the real reason we can’t have nice things? Sure, there’s a snorty, hyperactive pug at my house, but she’s innocent. It’s me; it’s all me. Waterford crystal is a favorite of mine, but the few pieces I have are located up on high shelves, and not handled by me. It’s really a bit sad; it’s Irish, beautifully made, and when the sun hits the facets cut into the triangle of my New Year’s Eve Times Square crystal ball ornament, it’s really gorgeous and yet, untouchable.

Still, it’s no use crying over spilled milk, right? A good friend recently nailed it when she said, “You’re a glass half full kind of girl, until you break it, that is.” Spot on, Rickey. It’s become about safety more than grace at this point. When you galumph, rather than glide, there’s often a trail of destruction that follows. Ceramics, glass, sharp objects, and precious knick-knacks are best kept out of my reach. Also, open flames. You know how instead of cursing the darkness, we are told to light a single candle? 

That’s for everyone but me. You can all glow in the flickering light of beeswax; I’ll be the one with the flashlight, likely cursing because the batteries are gone from when I dropped it and broke the cover. You start one small kitchen fire and it’s all, “Can someone check the smoke detectors? Brenda’s making dinner.” In my defense, how could I be expected to know that a glass cooktop stays hot for nearly twenty minutes after you shut it off, so while I didn’t burn the cookies in the oven, they were pretty crispy after sitting on top of the stove…on parchment paper. Pro tip: parchment paper is flammable outside of an oven. Somehow that was never covered in my high school physics and chemistry classes, or Home Ec for that matter.

Actual photo of untouchable Waterford, right next to where I started a fire

So far, there haven’t been any major injuries, if you don’t count a concussion from a run in with a mop and a tile floor, which, truthfully, could happen to anyone. The upside is I am now exempt from mop duty, which is a win if you ask me. As time goes by however, safety has to be a priority. Perhaps wearing my bike helmet in the shower might be a good idea? I’m a big fan of firefighters, but it’s probably wise to just buy a cheeky calendar instead of having them show up at my door because “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” That’s just not a good look for me. In the meantime, flat shoes (but still red) are probably best, along with staying away from stairs, breakables, slippery surfaces, and heavy objects that are easily dropped. Here’s to staying upright:::lifts paper cup in a toast::::