Wrong You Are: There Is Always Try

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

---Yoda

 

Ok, who am I to argue with a tiny Star Wars puppet that is beloved by so many, but…sorry my little green friend, you are so wrong. Because we are on this frustrating pandemic times calendar shift, it’s finally graduation season. Well, at least it is at my house. If I might just brag for a quick second, since December, my daughter has held a co-op job at a medical practice, passed the state boards for cosmetology, passed the state written and practical exam to be an EMT, and passed the national EMT license exam. She also navigated losing her last season of track, kept up with her duties as a class officer, and arranged college classes for the fall. I mostly stood by watching, and occasionally writing a check. The rest was all her.

 

Sure, that is a lot of doing. However, if you think there was no trying behind that, you’d be wrong. Like all of us, she tried, tried, and tried again. Also, like all of us, some of what she tried didn’t work out so well. And so it goes. We were chatting about everything that’s coming up for her in the next few months, and there will be a ton of choices she has to make. It’s daunting when you think of it.

 Last week I talked about decisions, and the times we have to choose between multiple options, even when none of them are ideal. There’s a big decision coming in November, and it’s going to be wicked hard for me to look at all the facts, search my soul, and try to pick the right one. So far, I think carrot cake will be the winner. Come November 6th, my birthday cake will be carrot cake, with cream cheese frosting. Decision 2020, made.

Kidding aside, I know that the Yoda quote is supposed to be inspiring, but honestly, it’s not for me. It's like this. I’m a big fan of space exploration. The research, the cutting-edge technology, the going where no man has gone before and all the rest is exciting, and, in my opinion, crucial to our survival. The Star Wars movies get that. Sure, it's fiction, but they show us that there’s so much out there. Truly, we should be looking skyward every day and finding new ways to get to, “infinity and beyond.” Space exploration starts with someone, somewhere, saying, “What if we tried this?” If you look back at the very beginnings of NASA, there were a lot of attempts that, well, flopped. Did we stop trying? Nope.

 

As we look toward schools reopening, the economy righting itself, and a political landscape that seems fraught with peril around every corner, it’s important to remember how to try. We need to think of new ideas, even ones that sound a little off the wall. Before this year, who would have thought of a drive-by commencement? Who could have conceived of a virtual baby shower, via a Zoom video call? An event I always love to attend is Harrington Reads, at Harrington Elementary in Lynn. I get to meet young readers, authors, and educators and share what they love about literacy. This year, it went virtual. All videos, posted on YouTube. It was that or cancel it altogether. Someone was smart enough to ask, “What if we tried to…” and then made it happen. That is try. It leads to doing, but first, there is try.

 

So far no one has asked for my advice on any of the conundrums we are facing, but, for the record, here it is: There must always be a way to try. No doing can happen before we dare to try. If you’re job hunting, try looking in a field you might not have considered. If you’re facing a decision on whether or not to send your kid back to school? Try it, see what happens. If it’s not the right move, move on to another option. My father was always spewing forth what he thought were incredibly wise words. Some were, and others, not so much. One of my favorite pieces of advice from him was this: “Brenda, the only part of your life that will be carved in stone are the dates on your headstone. Everything else is up for grabs. Try it all. If one path doesn’t work, go another way. You’ll get there.”  He was so right. Let’s keep trying.

 

 

The Times They Are A-Changing

“Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.”

--Bob Dylan

This song came up on a playlist I found on Spotify that included the songs that were popular in any given year. I chose 1964 because it’s the year I was born. Also, the last half of the 1960s fascinates me because while it was a tumultuous period in history, in so many ways, it’s also a period where my memories may or may not be accurate. It’s like I have to know what was really going on then. My parents are no longer here to tell me about what it was like having two small children toddling around while world leaders were being shot on a regular basis, some students had to go to school with armed guards around them, and, to make it interesting, astronauts were hopping around on the moon.

Change can be scary. The character of Sheldon on the show “The Big Bang Theory” is an extreme example of someone resistant to change, but it’s probably fair to say we all have a little Sheldon in us. We have our favorite spots in our favorite places, we delight in the familiarity of having a coffee, or a sandwich made just the way we like it, every time. How many of us buy the same flavor of yogurt every week? The same kind of chips or the same brand of cereal? Sure, that strawberry kiwi flavor is excellent, but would a couple of containers of peach mango kill you? So maybe you like those three little hyperactive guys on the Rice Krispie box, but take a step outside your comfort zone and have a bowl of corn flakes once in a while. Don’t be a chicken; buy the rippled chips instead of the same old kettle cooked and take a walk on the wild side.

OK, enough about the groceries, because Bob Dylan wasn’t talking about your weekly trip to Stop and Shop when he sang this song. He was saying that despite what side we stood on, we were all dangerously close to the edge of a massive leap into a stormy sea of the unknown. Sink or swim? Hmmm…sounds like a great book title…but I digress. While it may not be the 1960s anymore, it’s universally true that in any decade, year, month or week, the times are always a-changin. We don’t even have to look at the national or world stage to see it either. Been a busy week or two in local politics, hasn’t it? While it has to be difficult for those right in the thick of it, some of it had to happen. Change is a critical part of growth, and especially when it comes to educating our children, growth is essential, even when it hurts.

Change doesn’t have to be quite as earth-shattering as what was happening when Dylan sang about it though. Every day we can look for what isn’t working in our own small bubble, whether it’s a job, a home, or just a pair of shoes and shake it up. Making the world a better place doesn’t just happen with fire hoses and freedom marches, it can be as simple as volunteering for a cause you believe in, reading a book by an author you never heard of, or sitting across from someone you have nothing in common with and hearing them out. Seriously, listening to another side of an issue has literally no downside. What’s the worst that could happen, you might learn something? G-d forbid some new ideas creep into your life, anything but that!

Sarcasm aside, it’s important to remember that what’s happening now in politics, locally and otherwise, is what is supposed to happen. Dylan warns “Come senators, congressmen/Please heed the call/Don't stand in the doorway/Don't block up the hall,” but it’s good advice for all of us, not just those in Washington. He was referring to the relevant events of those turbulent years, but let’s remember, the man won a Nobel Prize. He’s not your average 60’s hippie. It must have freaked him out a little too since it took him six months to accept it. Change is all around us, so we should probably get used to it and at least try to ensure that when it does come to us, it moves us forward and makes us better.

The Lunch Box Hall of Fame

"If your arteries are good, eat more ice cream. If they are bad, drink more red wine. Proceed thusly."

---Sandra Byrd, Bon Appetit

I'm not much for ice cream or red wine, but I like the attitude of this quote. Yes, too much ice cream is terrible for you. Sure, too much wine is a problem as well. Kale is a superfood, we should all eat more kale, right? Well, whatever, but I guarantee if you go on a weekend kale bender, you're going to spend more time worshiping the porcelain overlords than I ever did after a weekend of Jameson and bad behavior. I was younger then though, perhaps I am past those days? No, never mind, I'm so not. 

Still, thinking back to unhealthier times brought back memories of the pitiful food and snacks that I grew up with. Pitiful in nutrition that is, but most of what was in the pantry of my childhood kitchen was delicious. Not a lick of it was homemade either. From a snack perspective, it's a wonder any kid growing up in the 70s is even still alive. Truly there should be a Lunch Box Hall of Fame for some of these creations.

Some of the meals I toted around in my genuine Emergency! lunch box with my TV boyfriend Johnny Gage on the lid would probably make a nutritionist lose her low-fat lunch. The sandwiches were, of course, made with the staple of every home at the time, Wonder bread. It was so spongy you could roll bits of it into little balls and throw them at your friends.  They were like little Super Balls; they'd just bounce off. On the sandwich would be a couple of greasy slices of baloney. I still don't know exactly what's in baloney, but that's OK, it can remain a mystery. Next to the sandwich, was my favorite thing ever, a can of pudding. Yes, a can.  Pudding came in a can, with a razor sharp metal lid you had to pop open. You could slice off a finger on these little treats, but no one ever did. That tiny can full of butterscotch goo was the highlight of my day in third grade. Of course, there had to be chips too. My mother was a bargain hunter so we had the chips in the plain wax paper bags because we bought the big cardboard drum full of some off brand of chips and we'd toss a handful into a bag for lunch. Finally, the matching cold jug of milk, with its screw cap/cup as a top, which always had milk in it. Once a week I was allowed to get school milk, and I'd chose chocolate so I could feel like the richest kid on the block. So, to review, for more years than I can remember lunch consisted of a rusty metal box full of sugar, fat, carbs, and salt. Those were the days, my friend; we thought they'd never end.

I know several moms who still have young children, and when they talk about ideas for snacks or packed lunches, it's all edamame and hummus. Bento boxes filled with pickled bean sprouts, organic bunny crackers (Goldfish are so 1990s), probiotic yogurt and farm share berries. No lukewarm school milk, no way. It's almond Silk something or other and cold jugs full of kombucha and kefir. These are some seriously gourmet lunches, with every carb and gram of protein duly noted.

(#SorryNotSorry but this is ridiculous. This mum needs to be medicated)

Naturally, I tried to do a little better with my own kids. They bought lunch from time to time because pizza day is a big deal now, but there were home-packed lunches a lot too. No more Wonder bread, now it was whole grain. No more cans of pudding, they come in cups now, with a paper lid instead of a deadly weapon. The fruit was practically required, or else the teachers would look at you funny on parent night. Thermos jugs are gone, replaced with BPA free water bottles. Putting chips in your child's lunch might get you shunned at PTO.  Healthy is better, no question, but I think our kids are missing out on some treats that, while horrible, were still staples of a happy childhood.

Twinkies, spray cheese in a can, Pop Tarts and so many other goodies that are gone now, or at least frowned upon. In the early 70s, Apollo rockets were launching all the time; we ate snacks inspired by astronauts, wasn't that enough? Who needs fresh squeezed OJ when there was Tang? Why bother with a ham sandwich when there were "Space Food Sticks." Don't come at me with your green juice smoothie until you've experienced a Carnation Instant breakfast drink in Dutch Cocoa flavor, or, as we call it now, a "protein shake." Yes, the food of my youth was a hot mess of chemicals and preservatives, but now and then, I commit a food crime and have a Little Debbie snack cake, washed down with some Kool-aid. Why not be a kid again, just for one meal? Hold the sprouts, and live a little.