Road Rage, A Rant and a Request

"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."

---Rebecca West

Don't we all feel like we are good drivers? Maybe not the best driver in the whole world, but would any of us even get behind the wheel if we thought we were dangerous? That's often the problem; our perception of who we are, what we are able to do and how we look doing it is not always accurate. I thought I was rocking a holiday scarf at a party once, but as it turned out, it was a table runner and my hostess had the same one on her sideboard. Fashion icon that I am, I rolled with it, but it was inwardly mortifying. Also, I was never asked back, shocker, right?

Thinking up topics for this column can be tough, but lucky me, there are always suggestions from friends, colleagues, and randos in the supermarket I don't know that well, so there's no shortage of material. One recurring suggestion is always about drivers, road rage, entitlement, and safety. "Why don't you write about how awful the driving is in town?" is a common theme. To which my answer is, "There could be a column about that in the paper every week." Actually, come to think of it, there is; we call it the "Police Log." 

Normally I am not one to tell other people how to act, what to think, or how to feel; it's one of the rules. It's getting broken, right now. If we don't, and I mean immediately, get with the program on not racing around town like a bunch of overprivileged, NASCAR wannabes, someone is going to die. Wait, let me clarify; someone ELSE is going to die because we've already lost a few someones to accidents. There was a sticker made up for it and everything though, so problem solved, right? Nope, not even close.

Road rage is at epic levels too, along with the driving habits. No one is immune; I'd be lying if I said there had never been a bird-like gesture come out of my car. I've leaned on my horn and thought up some colorful phrases that, once or twice, were in my out-loud voice. However, it was never because the driver in front of me slowed down to let a kid cross the street. It was never because someone stopped at a yellow light so as not to gridlock an intersection. Think about all the hours we spend in our cars. We have all seen it; many of us have behaved badly a time or two, but it's gotten way out of control. On what planet is it acceptable for someone to tailgate another driver while screaming threats of bodily harm? Why would anyone think it's funny to play chicken in traffic, and point and laugh when they scare the hell out of some driver? What happens in someone's head to make them roar through a stop sign, or blow by a crossing guard who is literally blocking children with her body? Seriously, can we all just calm down a little?

It would be easy to point fingers and say, "These teen drivers today!" or "Why is grandma still driving if she can't keep up?" It's not only teens though, or older drivers, or men, or women. It's all of us, either behaving like gnats on crack behind the wheel or letting our anger and frustration turn a trip to the post office into an episode of Parking Wars. For what? Getting somewhere a few seconds sooner? Feeling an adrenaline rush? Owning the road? What makes us take these risky maneuvers? My car might be five years old, with a few dents and dings, but I need it and I enjoy driving it, why would I not want to make sure nothing happens to it? Not to mention, that while I might not like every person I see on the road, I also don't want to run them over. Usually, anyway, and so far, so good.

Avoiding a crash is always my goal and while it might sound preachy, it should be everyone's goal. So get with it people. Wear your seatbelts, don't drive on the sidewalk, stop at stop signs, go when it's your turn, and a person in a crosswalk is not a challenge to beat the light. We're all either someone's parent, child, sibling, friend or spouse. Who wants to be the person that gets an awful call from the police? Who wants to be the reason for that call? No one. As my father would (and did, quite often) say, "Cut the crap, you're being a jerk and I'm not having it." Wording it more kindly? Please be careful out there. Many of you annoy me, and I likely do the same to many of you, but let's all stay sane and safe. OK, I'll settle for safe. Thank you for listening.