On Your Best Behavior

"1st: Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present."

---George Washington--Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation

Full disclosure, I'm cranky. A friend of mine, who has a wonderful way with words, would say I have a "goat in my garden" which means my panties are in a wad. She's from the South though and expresses herself in a much more polite and civilized way than I usually can. It's true though, I'm pretty bent about some public behavior I have witnessed lately, locally and nationally, and while George Washington lived in an entirely different time than we are all living in now, he had a pretty good point about respect. There are just some actions that should not be accepted in polite society. This was true in the 1700s, and it's true now. Here are a few examples, and, for the record, they all happened. It would be nice if they were made up, but no, these moments are, more often than not, the reality of daily life.

Cell Phone Use: Sure, George Washington could not have imagined cell phones. But it doesn't take a clairvoyant colonial politician to know that a space like a doctor's waiting room, a coffee shop or even the grocery store is not where a loud, and intensely personal conversation, should take place. No one wants to hear someone shouting into their iPhone about their mortgage, their latest lab results or anything else. I was recently browsing in Marshall's where a woman was wandering around the housewares department talking about her history of UTIs and her doctor's opinion on her dog sleeping in the bed with her being a possible cause. No. Sweet Mother of Abraham, no. This is not information anyone not intimately involved with this loud mouth needs to know. Just stop. Holy privacy, Batman. We all need to make a call now and then, but this is why they have hallways and cars. No more speakerphone calls in public spaces. No one wants to know that much about your life.

Personal hygiene: Another area of concern. Flossing is essential for healthy gums. Keeping your nails free of dirt is a good idea. Everyone enjoys an unstuffed nose. There are, however, many ways to accomplish these goals, but whipping out a roll of waxed thread and going all dental diva in the Starbucks line is just gross. Don't put any of your fingers in any of your airways unless you are entirely alone. Clipping your nails, with cuticles flying, is something best accomplished at home, and not at the RMV. I know it's a long wait, but bring a book for cripes sake.

Use your indoor voice: Most people are not hard of hearing, thankfully. So there is no reason to shout. This is one I struggle with because I'm Irish and I was raised around people who didn't fully understand how to be quiet. My daughter tells me all the time, "Hush! OMG, stop yelling." She has a point. Google "The Irish Whisper" it's a thing. If someone is standing within arm's length, you don't have to raise your voice, they can hear you.

These might seem like petty complaints, given the events of late. People were gunned down recently, in a house of G-d. A local teenager passed away after a brave battle with cancer. Who cares what George Washington thought about etiquette, right? Well, sure. Then again, when there is heartache all around us, when the evening news is all death and destruction, isn't taking a moment to consider how our actions might impact others a good idea? It's unlikely that refraining from picking your nose or flossing in public will do much good, politically or otherwise, but try anyway. For the comfort level of those around you, put down the Kleenex, the nail clippers and the cell phone. Maybe strike up a conversation with those around you, who knows, you might make a friend and friendship is something everyone needs these days.