Time and Travel

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" – Bill Watterson

Boiled down to its essence, this quote means, "Re-entry stinks." I'm just back from a two-week vacation that was awesome. There were blue seas, bright sunny days, too much good food, way too much good wine, and lots of laughs. New friends were made, memories cemented, inside jokes and bad photos happened, and not one travel mishap occurred. I am beyond grateful for having been able to take a trip that was two years in the making. Saving, planning, and then going was fabulous, and who doesn't love some fabulous at the end of a long, hot summer?

My first day back in the office though? That was tough. On top of all the backed-up emails, projects that were off track, and missed memos, there were a scary few minutes where I looked around at my co-workers and asked, "What is it I do here again?"

That was likely the jet lag talking. On a good day, my math skills are remedial; throw in jet lag and it's comical. Telling time, a skill I've had since kindergarten, suddenly became difficult. "Well, we left Rome at 3:00, which is 9:00 here, so that means now it's…pancakes. It's pancakes o'clock."

 

Travel really does change one's outlook, and not just in terms of time zones. When you go places you've never been, it's like a door to a hidden room of treasures opens up and you get to oooh and ahhh over everything that's in there. Like those big white luxury yachts? I've watched Below Deck, I've seen shows on that wealth channel about these boats, but I'd never been near one. Man, they're big. And nice too. A cruise on one of those babies is going on my lottery list, which is like a bucket list, only it's not about getting things in before I die. It's about a silly dream that's fun to think about, which always beats contemplating one's demise, don't you think?

For the record, Italy and Greece are both beautiful countries, with nice people and phenomenal historical sites. They are also both wicked hot and crowded in August. Being American, I'm sure we stuck out like sore thumbs, but still, we were welcomed. Tramping around the Acropolis, the Tower of Pisa and the Greek Isles is both exhausting and exhilarating. Where else can you walk on the same bit of earth that Aristotle walked on? See the land the famous general Pericles fought for and walk some of the same steps as the Apostles? Also, there was plenty of book reading and balcony sitting and staring at sunsets, it wasn't all highbrow history.

One part of the trip that surprised me was seeing how other families interact. Growing up, my family was loud and Irish. Which is kind of the same thing, come to think of it. Many of the families on our boat were Italian, or British or Australian. One family on a beach on the island of Mykonos was surprised to see the Americans hollering, "Polo!" every time they yelled at their kid Marco. There are only about a dozen words in Italian that I can speak and understand, but somehow, the language of families transcends translation, and Marco was definitely in trouble. After a few smacks from Papa, he smartened up, the family posed for a lovely photo together, and they were all laughing like fools, once the Marco Polo game was explained to them by their fellow cruisers. The British families used many of the same slang terms I heard growing up and an Australian family we had breakfast with most days had great stories of "schoolies" (summer break) and "Muck up day" which happens at the end of a school year, right before final exams and involves costumes and pranks.

The coming back though? While difficult, it's part of the price we pay to see these amazing parts of the world, and for me, it's worth it, even if I do miss the endless cruise ship buffets, the daily tidying up that someone else did for us, and the sound of the waves outside my window. Traveling will always be a priority for me, whether it's a quick weekend with absent friends or a carefully planned tour of islands, white sand beaches, and big boats. There is nothing that I find more centering than going off to some new place and seeing what's there so that when it's time to come home, while there is less in my piggy bank, there is way more in my memory bank. So, home again it is, for a little while anyway. Now, does anyone know a good hotel in Sorrento? That's just one of the places I'm going back to, someday.

BLUE HARBOR SCARF WORLD TOUR

Ok, not a column, but rather a journey. Not in that new-agey fake way, an actual trip. My good friend and talented artist Stephanie Krauss Verdun (http://www.stephaniekraussverdun.com/prints/6g2i3lbzfx4qi3gcibtx71lpzkbwb6) is literally off-the-hook talented. She turned some of her works into scarves and the one I like best is from her work, "Blue Harbor Kayak." It's amazing, I swear I wear it everywhere. And it's always noticed and complimented. So, recently, I took it on a Mediterranean cruise through Greece and Italy. What else would I wear? Check out how a scarf can go anywhere you want to go. Even if you never leave home.

The thing about this scarf is you can do anything with it. A cape, over the shoulders, head wrap, infinity, you name it. I stink at this, I can barely tie my shoes, so I'm not artsy with scarves, but it doesn't matter, this looks beautiful no matter what.

Here are a few of the places I took it. It made my trip so much more beautiful to stand by blue water with a piece of home.

The Artist!

The scarf!

As we left Civitavecchia, I was afraid it would blow away, it was so light and airy

In Greece, it's often required to cover your head in Orthodox churches, so I did. A woman stopped me, touched it and said, "Beautiful blue water, like our Aegean Sea"

On the balcony, as we arrive in Santorini, a Greek island accessible from our ship by tender. It was perfect for balcony days. Which were, essentially, every day. 

What's a little wind?

Who doesn't love a little balcony beverage? I've heard direct sun can interfere with how wine tastes. Blue Harbor scarf to the rescue!

I really did do more than drink and drape myself in this gorgeous scarf, but these are some of the highlights. A last toast and it was time to come home. Where is your #BlueHarbor?

Road Rage, A Rant and a Request

"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."

---Rebecca West

Don't we all feel like we are good drivers? Maybe not the best driver in the whole world, but would any of us even get behind the wheel if we thought we were dangerous? That's often the problem; our perception of who we are, what we are able to do and how we look doing it is not always accurate. I thought I was rocking a holiday scarf at a party once, but as it turned out, it was a table runner and my hostess had the same one on her sideboard. Fashion icon that I am, I rolled with it, but it was inwardly mortifying. Also, I was never asked back, shocker, right?

Thinking up topics for this column can be tough, but lucky me, there are always suggestions from friends, colleagues, and randos in the supermarket I don't know that well, so there's no shortage of material. One recurring suggestion is always about drivers, road rage, entitlement, and safety. "Why don't you write about how awful the driving is in town?" is a common theme. To which my answer is, "There could be a column about that in the paper every week." Actually, come to think of it, there is; we call it the "Police Log." 

Normally I am not one to tell other people how to act, what to think, or how to feel; it's one of the rules. It's getting broken, right now. If we don't, and I mean immediately, get with the program on not racing around town like a bunch of overprivileged, NASCAR wannabes, someone is going to die. Wait, let me clarify; someone ELSE is going to die because we've already lost a few someones to accidents. There was a sticker made up for it and everything though, so problem solved, right? Nope, not even close.

Road rage is at epic levels too, along with the driving habits. No one is immune; I'd be lying if I said there had never been a bird-like gesture come out of my car. I've leaned on my horn and thought up some colorful phrases that, once or twice, were in my out-loud voice. However, it was never because the driver in front of me slowed down to let a kid cross the street. It was never because someone stopped at a yellow light so as not to gridlock an intersection. Think about all the hours we spend in our cars. We have all seen it; many of us have behaved badly a time or two, but it's gotten way out of control. On what planet is it acceptable for someone to tailgate another driver while screaming threats of bodily harm? Why would anyone think it's funny to play chicken in traffic, and point and laugh when they scare the hell out of some driver? What happens in someone's head to make them roar through a stop sign, or blow by a crossing guard who is literally blocking children with her body? Seriously, can we all just calm down a little?

It would be easy to point fingers and say, "These teen drivers today!" or "Why is grandma still driving if she can't keep up?" It's not only teens though, or older drivers, or men, or women. It's all of us, either behaving like gnats on crack behind the wheel or letting our anger and frustration turn a trip to the post office into an episode of Parking Wars. For what? Getting somewhere a few seconds sooner? Feeling an adrenaline rush? Owning the road? What makes us take these risky maneuvers? My car might be five years old, with a few dents and dings, but I need it and I enjoy driving it, why would I not want to make sure nothing happens to it? Not to mention, that while I might not like every person I see on the road, I also don't want to run them over. Usually, anyway, and so far, so good.

Avoiding a crash is always my goal and while it might sound preachy, it should be everyone's goal. So get with it people. Wear your seatbelts, don't drive on the sidewalk, stop at stop signs, go when it's your turn, and a person in a crosswalk is not a challenge to beat the light. We're all either someone's parent, child, sibling, friend or spouse. Who wants to be the person that gets an awful call from the police? Who wants to be the reason for that call? No one. As my father would (and did, quite often) say, "Cut the crap, you're being a jerk and I'm not having it." Wording it more kindly? Please be careful out there. Many of you annoy me, and I likely do the same to many of you, but let's all stay sane and safe. OK, I'll settle for safe. Thank you for listening.