Buying Nothing

"The propensity to truck, barter, and exchange one thing for another is common to all men and to be found in no other race of animals." --- Adam Smith 

 I am 100% Irish, going back at least 4 generations, so the concept of bartering, working out exchanges, and making a good deal comes naturally to me. We Irish have the "Gift of Gab" or, as my father always put it, "Brenda, you could talk a dog off a meat wagon." It's been a helpful skill at times, to be able to negotiate and talk to people and come to an agreement. When anyone in our house needs to buy a new car, I am the closer. When that moment comes and the dealer slides a piece of paper over the desk with the price for a car? That's when I come off the bench. Ask anyone who's ever sold me a car, I'm ruthless. 

 However, my friends will tell you that if they need something, I will not hesitate to help them. It's never a negotiation when someone I care about needs something. That's when I show up, requested or not, and say, "What do you need?" That doesn't make me special, not even a little. It's just what people do. I've been on the receiving end of it and helping someone is never something that I view as an earning opportunity. Still, I have benefitted from being given help, whether it's an item I need or a recommendation, and I hope that I have always been willing to help others when they need something. 

 Recently, the concept of bartering and helping others came up. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have a more than minor addiction to online shopping. Whether it's eBay late at night or the local garage and closet pages on Facebook, I'm there, on the daily, scoping out the deals. The clothing pages aren't a big deal, because, apparently everyone except me is a size triple zero, so items that would cover my big Irish butt don't come up that often. If you need any Lululemon pants in a size 2, however, check out Marblehead Closet. The local Buy Nothing page is another matter altogether, however. I love the rules. It's not about being number one in line to say you want something. It's not about first dibs. It's about someone having something they don't want to just toss away. It's about trying to reduce, reuse and recycle. 

Back in the day, when my kids were little, I refused to buy the Little Tykes climbing structures, the Cozy Coupe cars, and other outdoor toys, because I just knew I could find them at yard sales. Why buy all that new plastic, if I can buy something someone else isn't using anymore? I'm not Sustainable Susie, but I try to reduce my consumption when I can. This week, however, I had something to give away. I purchased a great blanket on a local yard sale page. It was precisely what I needed for my "writing nook" in my living room and I was thrilled to get it for a low price. I didn't realize right away that it had fringe, and fringe bugs me, so I was looking for someone else who might want it. I listed it on a local free page and the interaction I got was amazing! Not everyone wanted it, but that wasn't the point. The point was, I had an item that I didn't need, and maybe there was someone else who could use it. 

The Buy Nothing pages are a national trend, set up as local outlets for people to offer what they have, to someone who might need it. It's been referred to as the old scenario of going to a neighbor and asking to borrow a cup of sugar. Of course, when you do that, you are nice, and you ask politely, and if you have extra sugar, you happily give it to your neighbor because that is what decent people do. So, I offered this blanket, and it now has a new home, and I'm thrilled. I think sometimes we place too much value on the "stuff" we own. We remember what we paid for it when it was new, so when we consider getting rid of it, we think it must be valuable. Not always. Not everyone would appreciate the gold-painted pottery pug dog I got or my martini shaker that looks like a penguin, but they are both on a shelf I can see when I'm working in my writing nook. They were items someone else didn't need, and now I have them, and they make me happy. That's a win in my book. 

 Are there items in your home that you just don't need or want? Maybe someone else would give them a home? Maybe if you offered something to the community, in a karmic sense that would come back to you? That's what I think anyway. The thrill of looking for items you need, finding just that special something, and having someone gift it to you is quite something. Try it sometime. Oh, and items are not sold on Buy Nothing pages, so please don't say sold. Tell your story, explain what you need, or what you are offering. It's a way to connect, and I promise you won't be sorry you did. Cheers, and happy gifting!

The Kids Are Not OK

"Nothing you do for children is ever wasted." ----Garrison Keillor 

 It's good to know that even on my worst parenting days, what I do for my children isn't a waste. The days of toddler tantrums, middle school mood swings, and high school hijinks are behind me, and all three of mine seem to be doing well, so I guess that means I can put my feet up, and chill, since the hard work is all done? Nope. Not even close. While right now my children are all young adults, and they do most of what they need to do on their own, they do sometimes still need me, just in different ways. 

Recently, the big issue in town has been about children and the school system, but just because none of my children are still in public school here, doesn't mean the decisions being made don't impact me. A good educational system benefits all of us, and not just here in town. The children we educate will go out into the wider world and make their way. As a town, it's important that we do whatever we can to avoid releasing a generation of young people into the world who haven't had a decent education. Lately, the issue we've all heard the most about doesn't concern the nuts and bolts of funding our schools, hiring teachers, purchasing the right equipment and books, but rather it's about naming the newest school in town. It's to be expected that there are a gazillion opinions, and it's to their credit that the School Committee narrowed it down to just a few choices. Then the debates began. On social media and websites set up for information, the thoughts were flying around. Comments, concerns, and more than a few arguments over this, that, or the other thing. Finally, the decision was made, and the new school will be named the Lucretia and Joseph Brown Elementary School. Naming it that was my first choice, so I'm happy they picked it, and now that debate can end, and we can continue swinging at each other on social media on other topics.

 At the Zoom meeting of the School Committee, there were other items on the agenda that were being considered, the main one being a plan to get schools reopened, safely, but soon. There are a ton of moving parts involved in a decision like this, and once again, kudos to the parents, educators, volunteers, and staff that have been trying to make it work. During the portion of the meeting that invited public comment, I was trying to cook dinner, while finishing up some research on an article about vintage kitchen appliances, and annoying my daughter with TikTok videos. I glanced over and noticed a student was speaking, and he wasn't mentioning infection rates, or six-foot distancing, or union contracts. He was speaking about his friends, about himself, and the very real mental health struggles that are happening with high school students. He was firm in his conviction that there is a crisis happening and it's about more than budgets, masks, and disinfectants. 

He spoke eloquently about missing his friends, about having to hear over and over how miserable many of them are, how hopeless some of them feel, and he wanted the adults to know, that, well, the kids are not okay. All of the back and forth about the name of the school, hybrid or remote learning, cohorts, vaccinations, pool testing, and the rest have taken up endless hours of debate and yet, guess what many of us, the adults that are supposed to be looking out for them, didn't know? We didn't know how many kids are really up against it, mentally. We didn't know how hard this has been, how lost some of these kids have become, and how desperate they are to be heard. They're sad, they're scared, and many of them don't know where to go with it all. Thank goodness this young man spoke up. Now it's our job to listen, and to act. The school has been named, and I'm hopeful that means that there will be more education about the Browns, their contributions, who they were, and what they meant to our community. Since that is now settled, what's next? 

I think it has to be our kids, our students, our future. They're it; they will be running this world before too long, how can we not prioritize their issues, and get them the support and help they need? As adults charged with running a school system and as parents and caregivers who are raising children, we kind of have one job: don't screw up the kids. I believe most of us are doing the best we can, but now that we know there is more that is needed? Let's do it and do it fast. Yes, it's easier to say that here, than it is to jump in and do the work, but at least now we have heard, from the real stakeholders in our public education system, the students. Thank you Niall Kearney, for speaking up. I hope we can help. The video below is the School Committee meeting from 2/4/21. If you'd like to hear Niall for yourself, fast forward to about the 24:00 minute mark. Also, please note, the video settings do not allow for the video to play here. When it comes up unavailable, please click where it says "Watch on YouTube" Here is the direct link for anyone who wants it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlTdkfhwlHg

Home Repair or Kitchen Fail?

“I watch HGTV like a maniac, and when it’s bad it’s like some crazy college guy watching a football game.” 

--- Melissa McCarthy 

 HGTV is like some kind of alternate universe, where everyone is thin, rich, and knows how to swing a hammer without winding up in an ambulance with a gaping head wound. Even so, it’s on a lot at my house. Mostly, it’s my innate nosiness. I want to see everyone’s living room and kitchen, I want to check out their pantry shelves, and see what they have and how they put it away. Most people watch these shows to get ideas on what they might want to do with a renovation or a redecorating project. Somehow that piece is missing with me. 

Sure, there’s a ton of inspiration, and some of the ideas would really help me fix up my own space, but let’s face it: that’s never happening. We’re still in this pandemic and while it’s not a full lockdown, it’s winter and wicked cold, so regardless of the ‘Rona, this is my season to cocoon inside and wait for the Spring thaw. One would think that means there is time for little DIY projects, and home improvements. Not so much. I know my limits, and nothing in my skillset would get me through a renovation or remodel with all my fingers still attached.

 I mopped a floor once and wound up with a concussion. Candles and open flames are not allowed near me, because you accidentally start one small fire and your family is all, “Something is wrong with you, you’re gonna kill us all someday.” To be fair, they say the same thing every time I try to cook Thanksgiving dinner, which is why we wound up with Chinese takeout this year, since we couldn’t gather with friends and family who can cook without needing a fire extinguisher. 

 Nails and hammers and drills, oh my! Not everyone is talented with tools; at least I know that about myself and act accordingly. So imagine the dilemma at our house this past week, when, all of a sudden, the oven door was stuck shut. It wouldn’t budge, honestly, the nuclear codes could have been safe in there. Now, I know that oven doors lock when the self-clean feature is turned on, but that’s the only time. One look inside the oven and it was clear that the cleaning cycle had not been run recently, if ever. Sure, I’ve wiped out the odd pizza cheese spill or burnt cookie dough, but clean an oven? That’s a hospital trip for me, and this is no time to be in an ER. 

So how did the door get locked? It’s not like anything you put in an oven needs to be secured. That turkey or roast beast is long past it’s running days. I started to get worried that somewhere in the hinges or the door assembly, some scary little cheese-eating rodent was stuck. We had an unwelcome visitor last fall, and the little beast was quickly dispatched with a nice piece of cheese and a loaded spring mechanism. Hopefully none of his little friends were back to exact their revenge. 

 After a day of peering behind it with a flashlight and taking the pans out of the bottom drawer, I could tell nothing was dead or dying, but the door remained stuck fast. There are probably stove people you can call, that come out and fix things, but they probably charge an arm and a leg just to pull into your driveway, so that’s when I turned to my old faithful Internet, specifically, YouTube. 

There are videos on there about every kind of home repair you could imagine, from leaky sinks to fixing a broken window. Everything I watched about oven doors pointed to the self-clean feature and that’s where I got stuck. There are about twenty-seven buttons, knobs and dials on my stove, and that’s about twenty-five too many. Was there some random oven cleaning karmic ghost in my kitchen, just messing with me, holding my oven hostage until I Easy-Offed it? Well, sort of. After about the 10th video, one of the home repair experts said that if there had been a recent power outage or even just a blown fuse, the electronic panel of the oven could kick it into lock mode, as a safety feature. 

Safety? Sorry Samsung, you’re late to the game, if you wanted me to be safe around an oven, you’d have sent me a helmet and a hazmat suit. Since it seemed the problem might be tech-related vs. structural, I decided to use the “Tech support two-step” method. Unplug it and then plug it back in. Honest to Dog, you’d think I was Moses and had parted the Red Sea when it sprang back on with a couple of beeps and the door opened like magic. I had fixed a home appliance. In a kitchen no less! No ambulance, no hammer-bashed thumbs, no broken glass or stitches, just success. I still won’t be turning out gourmet meals, and certainly HGTV isn’t going to come along and offer me my own show, but for one brief moment, I had conquered a home repair. It feels good to do something you thought you couldn’t so that’s the lesson I’m taking from this: try it, what’s the worst that could happen? Stay tuned, the washer has been making a funny noise, maybe I’ll look that up next.