Embrace The Cranky

 “Your wrinkles either show that you’re nasty, cranky, and senile, or that you’re always smiling.”

---Carlos Santana

Gentle readers…or whoever else is looking at this. Please know that I am doing my best, but lately, my fashion choices are not just my cranky pants and my resting “B” face. There's a crown too because if I'm honest, the title of Princess Crankypants is more fitting than just “Nasty woman.” I have the whole outfit, and it includes a badge. 

Alright, it's not actually a badge, it's a pin that someone gave me in college, and it reads, "Do not start with me today; you will lose." Normally, I only wear it once in a while, because, well, it seems rude to always go around with a wicked attitude, but honestly? My attitude is getting worse by the day, and it seems only fair to warn people, you know? I mean, we have warning labels that caution against using a blow dryer in the bathtub and putting people, including children, in washing machines. Honestly, if you are someone that needs to be told this, please, do not come near me. Sorry if that sounds rude, but honestly, if you can’t figure out that a 5-year-old shouldn't be put on the spin cycle, I feckin don't want to know you.  

See what I mean? Lately, it’s not just occasional crankiness. That happens to everyone, right? We all have those days where we are grouchy, mean, and horrible. No problem, it’s human nature, and we can be forgiven for a few bad days. However, one of the things my father taught me was, “Go big, or go home.” Ok, he mostly meant it for all-you-can-eat buffets, the roulette table, whiskey, and pizza, but it seems appropriate for moods as well, at least in recent days. I have a wonderful friend who advises me that no matter what happens, I can always just smile and wave, however, the fingers and hand gestures I use are up to me. She also makes sure to let me know that prison orange is not my color, and that keeps me in check. Thanks, Kristen, you know me so well.  

Seriously, it's just all cranky, all the time. The weather isn't helping; we have the regular Fall rain, cloudy days, colder temps, etc. and it can be a major drag, but honestly even the warmer sunnier days can sometimes find me in a mood. It would be nice to blame the pandemic, to blame the lack of socialization, the tension of politics, and so much else, but no, I have to admit, it's mostly my own fault. Normally, I can take one day at a time, but I saw a meme online that perfectly says it. "One day at a time doesn't work when several days attack you all at once." It’s hard to know how to get out of this mode. What works for shaking off the cranky and manifesting a positive attitude?  

I have no damn idea. Pardon my French. 

I suppose there is some trite saying on a teabag tag or a fortune cookie, but honestly, none of the usual quotes are working for me. Carlos Santana says that my wrinkles are either from smiling or being nasty. Well, it depends on the day, doesn't it? Does anyone walk around all smiles when it's raining, every interaction has been via Zoom, and there's social distancing caution tape over your favorite spot at your favorite pub? No, they don't. And the wrinkles? Oh please, does it matter how I got them? My face looks like an entire flock of crows walked across it, and some of them stomped around because they were probably cranky too. What wrinkles truly show is that you've experienced a lot. Happy or sad, our experience usually shows up on our faces, and, well, it's not all peaches and cream, is it?

So yes, here's to the cranky days; we know they'll come, regardless of the attitude platitudes we all try to believe. Cranky happens; embrace the cranky because it's real. Faking it has never been my way, so today, this week, it's cranky time. Perhaps by the time this is printed, my perspective will shift. I surely hope so, but if not? So be it, a few more wrinkles aren’t the end of the world, right?