Excess and Moderation

“Never go to excess, but let moderation be your guide.”

---Cicero

Well, I did just get back from Italy, so quoting a famous Roman orator and statesman is appropriate, right? Moderation? You could say that’s a goal for me, rather than a reality. All things in moderation? ALL OF IT? No, not so much. Somewhere someone has to have said moderation should be taken in moderation. Oh wait, someone did. Ben Franklin. Smart guy. While many expressions are trite and overused, if you really wade into the kind of boring tea bag quotes that are found on internet memes, you can find one that says anything you like. Moderation? That could be countered with, “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing” and other gems like, “Everything in moderation, especially this inspirational BS.”

Moderation is a good concept in most areas. You shouldn’t drink too much. Hell, some of you shouldn’t drink at all if the police log is any indication. There is no safe amount of drunk driving or heroin use, this is obvious. Then again, can there ever be too much time spent near a beach, listening to the waves, with a nice fruity beverage? Ok, perhaps those in the path of the recent hurricane would say yes, but that’s an extreme example. While we could do a deep, philosophical dive on how much of whatever is too much, that’s not the point. The point is: when are we going too far on something, and when do we need to damn the torpedoes and go full speed ahead?

I have no idea.

On the cruise my family and I just took, moderation was never discussed. One look at the buffet every night would prove that. Also included in our package were unlimited beverages. Now I need to find an unlimited salad bar, that only has lettuce and ice water, and an unlimited personal trainer who will scream at me to get my fat butt back to the gym. The bank balance is at the other end of the spectrum. For every jump on the scale, it seems there was an equal and opposite dip in the checking account. Funny how that works. Still, there are no regrets. Math was never my strong suit, but even I know that you have to take in more than goes out, but if you do that at a buffet, well, it could be trouble. It kind of knocks the moderation concept out of the water. 

Sometimes you just cannot “moderately” work; you have to work like the Energizer bunny, because there’s a deadline (as I write this 90 minutes before the print deadline) or a project has gone off the rails. Then it’s catch up time and you’re manically trying to juggle an overflowing inbox, house and a family, and still find time to breathe and chill out. Moderation is off the table at that point. Also, if there is a custom crepe station and a bacon table at a buffet, there will be no attempts at moderation. 

#SorryNotSorry

Truthfully, if you look up the definition of the adjective moderate it means “average in amount, intensity, quality, or degree.” Well, no one ever sits down when they are reviewing their life goals or planning a career and says, “Average, that’s what I want. Nothing intense for me, no way, just middle of the road, that’ll do.” Again, extreme examples aside, moderation just isn’t all that sometimes. I was far from moderate when someone, who should have known better, said to me, “Don’t you think that was a little overboard?” after I ripped off someone’s head and spit down their neck for coming after one of my children. No, it was not “too much.” Quite honestly, looking back, it wasn’t nearly enough. And so it goes.

I love a good ocean metaphor, and I suppose it’s like the tide. Some days the water is calm, like glass, barely kissing the coast in little bubbly bits of surf, and other days it’s roaring up over the rocks and pounding the seawall. Would it really be even worth being on a beach if it wasn’t like that? Should we all be on an even keel, all the time? Good luck with that, it’s never happening. 

Why does everything always have to be right in the middle? The whole too hot, too cold, just right thing, with Goldilocks? She’s not real, for one thing; it’s a made-up story that's supposed to teach moderation, and maybe something about interspecies symbiosis. The story isn’t a life lesson though; she was just picky. She was searching for moderation, but how did she do it? By breaking into the home of a bear family, eating their food and sleeping in their beds. Doesn’t sound like moderation to me.


There will be times when I have to choose a moderate, average, safe course of action, it’s unavoidable. There will also be times when I am the living equivalent of an ancient Irish banshee. Sounds workable, right? Who’s with me?