There Is No Normal

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

---Albert Einstein

While I have always been a lover of words, a writer, and a failure at math and most technical pursuits, in my quest to feed my family, I am also a science journalist. While those who knew me in high school and college are laughing their tuchuses off at the concept of any science (besides mixology) being part of my world, it's actually true. Recently, an article I wrote concerned a study that posited that there is no "normal" when it comes to brain function. That yes, while mental illness is genuine, the concept of normal brain function is less well defined. For lack of a better way to say it, neuroscientists are, at heart, a bunch of brilliant nerds. It might not seem like a big deal, but in the field of research and science, where everything must be quantifiable and definite, for a neuroscientist to suggest that there IS no precise normal and brain function is a continuum of different states is a big deal. When someone says, "Well it's not brain surgery" these scientists can legitimately say, "Sometimes it is" so we should pay attention.

No normal, what a concept. Lately there's a lot of discussion about a "new normal." School shootings, armed teachers, teenagers leading a grassroots revolution and so much more. Some will say this is our new normal. But what makes one side of an issue "normal" and another side "not normal?" Who decides that? Sure, we can all agree that it's not normal to have to practice how to barricade a classroom door in an elementary school. It's not normal to send your child to school and have to worry about them coming home on the bus or a body bag. None of that should ever be considered normal. But perhaps normal is being confused with common.

Sadly, many things are becoming common, and many of them are horrific. The concept of normal, however, has served to divide us at the very times when we need to come together. On the one side, you have people digging in their heels,  longing for days gone by when the world was a better place. Like during the 1950s, when the Korean War was a part of our everyday lives. Or perhaps the 60s, when everything was all Mad Men and retro cool (except for that other Asian war.) I grew up in the late 60s, early 70s. I can truthfully look back and say it was idyllic and that I had a wonderful childhood. But there was also that bright sunny day when I was five, sitting in the kitchen and watching my mother sprint across the lawn to the neighbor's house because a Marine and our parish priest showed up to tell Mrs. Baker that her son wasn't coming back from Da Nang. Her front step was barely ten feet from our door, and we heard her screaming, "Not my boy, not my boy." That should never be considered normal, but sadly it is common.

On the other side, you have teenagers marching in the streets, speaking to crowds, and taking on the system because they feel their lives are in danger. Like it's not already stressful enough being a high school kid, trying to get into college, now you have to dodge bullets and beg people to take you seriously? That's not normal, but again, it's common. A seventeen-year-old child (and let's remember, they are children) should not have to hide in a closet and wonder if they will be next.

Neuroscientists are suggesting that normal is not one specific state, but rather a continuum of different states, depending on the person. Perhaps if we looked at what's happening in our country and around the world with the same point of view, we might have better results?  We can't accept as normal a world of metal detectors and active shooter drills, but, in some places, that's how it's going to be and being mad about it isn't helpful. Turning against each other won't work, arguing won't work. There isn't just one solution. There are 900 problems, how could there be one answer? There are issues like guns, education, safety, training, cultural considerations, mental health, and, as always, politics and none of it is typical, but it's reality. We need to stop pointing at specific events, people and places and labeling them as "normal" or "abnormal." There is so much more to it. The tears and tragedy we've seen recently will hopefully pass, there will be some changes, and life will go on, as it's supposed to, whether we agree or not. In the meantime, reach out to those around you, even those with whom you disagree and hope for the best. Leave the decisions about what is normal behind and work with what you have.