Labels And Fables

 “Don’t rely too much on labels, for too often they are fables.”

--- Charles Spurgeon

We've all heard it, from parenting experts, teachers, grandparents, etc., that you cannot label people. Labels are for wine, they're for cans (but not canned wine, please never that) and they're sticky and hard to remove once applied. Ok, fair enough, we shouldn't sort each other into neat little categories, but then again, how do we define who we are? We all have names, isn't that a label? Of course, that's just for organization, we have to have our family names, and our given names, because otherwise, the registry of motor vehicles would be even more unpleasant than it already is. Once we get past the name though, then what? Are we defined by our jobs and roles? Mom, Dad, husband, wife, student, doctor, person, woman, man, camera are all labels, right? Also, since I just rattled off all that, does that mean I’ve passed some kind of cognitive memory test and I can now tell people to stop calling me Dory?

Labels are problematic, no question. They are needed on cans, bottles, and food containers, of course, because if not, it would just be “Chef’s Surprise” every night for dinner. No one would know until a can is opened whether it’s black beans or evaporated milk, and even I know that makes a difference when making chili. On the other hand, if you had symptoms of constant thirst, fatigue, dizziness, and unexplained weight loss, you’d be pretty happy if a medical professional worked that up and was able to correctly identify it as diabetes. Sure, that’s a label, “diabetic,” but if it means you won’t keep falling over in the street, that’s a good thing, yes?

Lately, there is a lot of talk about identity. Who do we believe we are? Who are we really? Now, I’m not going to go all Zen master here, but a big part of the problem with labels is that the ones we sometimes apply to ourselves don’t match the ones others apply to us. Essentially almost everyone out there is mislabeling each other, and it’s a fine mess in some cases. Whom should I believe? A person who says to me, “Hi I am Anakin, my pronouns are she, her, and hers” or another person who tells me, “Watch out for that one, a real headcase for sure.” Now what? Anakin is just someone I met, maybe we'll be working together or whatever, and it's good that now I know who they feel they are. Does it matter what someone else thinks about Anakin's identity? Not so much, and that's exactly the point. While a knee-jerk response to labels is that they're bad and unhelpful, it's only the wrong labels that truly hurt us. 

There’s an expression that says when someone shows you who they are, believe them. This is good advice; most people know themselves better than anyone, why wouldn’t I take a person at their word on who they are? I don’t need someone to pull out an ID unless I’m cashing their check or notarizing their passport documents. 

Also, yes, of course, I get it. It's a gross oversimplification to say we just need to take people at their word on who they are; clearly, there are hundreds of situations like medical care and some legal decisions where the details might matter a bit more than they do among family, friends, and coworkers. Honestly though, for the most part, the people we know and care about aren't looking to us for medical or legal needs. They simply want to be known and accepted as who they genuinely are, and here’s a pro tip: no one gets to say who you are but you. My good friend Cindy summed it up when she talked about how it takes a while sometimes to figure it out. She said, "Pearls are beautiful, but at first they are a few grains of silt and sand, and after a period of prolonged irritation, they are suddenly pearls, completely different from how they began." The necklace I was given for college graduation started as a handful of sand. Now it's a treasured family heirloom to be passed on for generations. Isn't that a nice way to think of something that starts one way, but when the course changes a little, there's so much more? That’s what I’m going with, anyway.

Then and Now

“The simple fact is that each day you have a choice. You can be a germ and infect people with your negative energy, or you can be a big dose of vitamin C and infuse them with your positive energy.”

---Jon Gordon, author “The Positive Dog”

This is the quote I used just about a year ago when our nationwide nightmare of COVID-19 began. When we all thought it would be two weeks of no school, and then it would be resolved. Well, turns out it wasn't like that at all. Here's what I thought then, and now.

Then: As I'm writing this, I half expect to look out my window and see Negan walking by with his barbed wire bat because it seems like we're all trapped in a bad episode of "The Walking Dead." Now, full disclosure, I am not a scientist or a medical professional. I barely passed high school chemistry, and I have no idea what RNA, cell apoptosis, and virology have to do with the price of toilet paper at Market Basket. 

Now: Honestly, some days I still expect Negan to stroll by, but it’s not toilet paper anymore. Or hand sanitizer, or puzzles, or baking supplies. It’s vaccinations. Yes, that is progress, no one is happier than me about it, but now there’s more of a way forward, we can see it, and it makes it that much more difficult to be calm and relaxed, we are so close. Let’s not screw this up now is essentially what I’m hoping, we’ve made it this far, just a little more.

Then: “Wash your hands. It’s basic hygiene, and there shouldn’t have to be a global pandemic to get people to do it. Weren’t we already washing our hands regularly? Please tell me we haven’t all been wandering around dragging our snoogery boogery fingers all over every available surface? The stakes are a little higher now, so we need the reminders. However, there is no need to go to the store and buy 5 cases of water, 400 rolls of toilet paper, and every jug of Purell on the shelf, so you can stack it up in your garage. You’re not making yourself any safer, you just look silly. Cut it out.”

Now: Same goes! I heard a statistic the other day that said flu cases were down, and that many doctors believe it's not just from lockdowns and working at home. The masks, the handwashing, the cautiousness of not getting too close to people, not picking at your nose and face, and yes, wearing the damn mask, seem to have had a bonus benefit of keeping other bugs away too. 

Then: Check on your neighbors. Not everyone can run to BJ’s or Costco and bring home a Suburban full of granola bars and canned soup. COVID-19 is especially dangerous for the elderly or those with chronic illnesses like asthma and COPD. Look around; there is likely someone nearby that needs a pot of stew or a pan of lasagna on their doorstep. Call your friends that live alone, chat them up. You know that big square electronic thing most of us have shoved in a pocket? It can make phone calls, so reach out and touch someone, just not with your germy hands. 

Now: Yes, you still need to check in on neighbors, again, like handwashing, this shouldn't take a pandemic to be the norm. Taking care of each isn't a "new normal" (hate that expression) it's what should have been happening all along. Snowstorms, power outages, and just regular life can be tough for some of us. Lend a hand, but wash it first, OK?

Then: “Calm the heck down. About everything. Freaking out never solves anything, so chill, if you can. There’s no need to get all bent out of shape unless Netflix goes offline, or we lose power. If that happens, I’m reaching for my bat. In the meantime, try to be as positive as you can. Be well, be nice and be safe.” 

Now: Well….I was overreaching on this. figured that by saying calm down to everyone else, I would calm down too. Nope. Didn’t happen, I’m still walking around all stressed up and no one to choke. I’m getting there though, I’ve stopped doom scrolling for hours on CDC guidelines, COVID rates, and testing sites so that’s good. I’ve also stopped telling other people how to feel or what to do…well, in theory anyway. It still kind of happens a lot. Working on it!

So much can change in a year; that has never been more true. There remain some challenges, for sure, but while no one thought last year that this is where we’d be now, if we had been told what it would be like, many would have said, “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly get through that, no way.” Well, if you’re reading this, you made it. So many didn’t, more than could have been imagined. Stand in gratitude that you got through it, and remember everything you learned. Your kids and grandkids will love the stories someday.

Buying Nothing

"The propensity to truck, barter, and exchange one thing for another is common to all men and to be found in no other race of animals." --- Adam Smith 

 I am 100% Irish, going back at least 4 generations, so the concept of bartering, working out exchanges, and making a good deal comes naturally to me. We Irish have the "Gift of Gab" or, as my father always put it, "Brenda, you could talk a dog off a meat wagon." It's been a helpful skill at times, to be able to negotiate and talk to people and come to an agreement. When anyone in our house needs to buy a new car, I am the closer. When that moment comes and the dealer slides a piece of paper over the desk with the price for a car? That's when I come off the bench. Ask anyone who's ever sold me a car, I'm ruthless. 

 However, my friends will tell you that if they need something, I will not hesitate to help them. It's never a negotiation when someone I care about needs something. That's when I show up, requested or not, and say, "What do you need?" That doesn't make me special, not even a little. It's just what people do. I've been on the receiving end of it and helping someone is never something that I view as an earning opportunity. Still, I have benefitted from being given help, whether it's an item I need or a recommendation, and I hope that I have always been willing to help others when they need something. 

 Recently, the concept of bartering and helping others came up. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have a more than minor addiction to online shopping. Whether it's eBay late at night or the local garage and closet pages on Facebook, I'm there, on the daily, scoping out the deals. The clothing pages aren't a big deal, because, apparently everyone except me is a size triple zero, so items that would cover my big Irish butt don't come up that often. If you need any Lululemon pants in a size 2, however, check out Marblehead Closet. The local Buy Nothing page is another matter altogether, however. I love the rules. It's not about being number one in line to say you want something. It's not about first dibs. It's about someone having something they don't want to just toss away. It's about trying to reduce, reuse and recycle. 

Back in the day, when my kids were little, I refused to buy the Little Tykes climbing structures, the Cozy Coupe cars, and other outdoor toys, because I just knew I could find them at yard sales. Why buy all that new plastic, if I can buy something someone else isn't using anymore? I'm not Sustainable Susie, but I try to reduce my consumption when I can. This week, however, I had something to give away. I purchased a great blanket on a local yard sale page. It was precisely what I needed for my "writing nook" in my living room and I was thrilled to get it for a low price. I didn't realize right away that it had fringe, and fringe bugs me, so I was looking for someone else who might want it. I listed it on a local free page and the interaction I got was amazing! Not everyone wanted it, but that wasn't the point. The point was, I had an item that I didn't need, and maybe there was someone else who could use it. 

The Buy Nothing pages are a national trend, set up as local outlets for people to offer what they have, to someone who might need it. It's been referred to as the old scenario of going to a neighbor and asking to borrow a cup of sugar. Of course, when you do that, you are nice, and you ask politely, and if you have extra sugar, you happily give it to your neighbor because that is what decent people do. So, I offered this blanket, and it now has a new home, and I'm thrilled. I think sometimes we place too much value on the "stuff" we own. We remember what we paid for it when it was new, so when we consider getting rid of it, we think it must be valuable. Not always. Not everyone would appreciate the gold-painted pottery pug dog I got or my martini shaker that looks like a penguin, but they are both on a shelf I can see when I'm working in my writing nook. They were items someone else didn't need, and now I have them, and they make me happy. That's a win in my book. 

 Are there items in your home that you just don't need or want? Maybe someone else would give them a home? Maybe if you offered something to the community, in a karmic sense that would come back to you? That's what I think anyway. The thrill of looking for items you need, finding just that special something, and having someone gift it to you is quite something. Try it sometime. Oh, and items are not sold on Buy Nothing pages, so please don't say sold. Tell your story, explain what you need, or what you are offering. It's a way to connect, and I promise you won't be sorry you did. Cheers, and happy gifting!

The Kids Are Not OK

"Nothing you do for children is ever wasted." ----Garrison Keillor 

 It's good to know that even on my worst parenting days, what I do for my children isn't a waste. The days of toddler tantrums, middle school mood swings, and high school hijinks are behind me, and all three of mine seem to be doing well, so I guess that means I can put my feet up, and chill, since the hard work is all done? Nope. Not even close. While right now my children are all young adults, and they do most of what they need to do on their own, they do sometimes still need me, just in different ways. 

Recently, the big issue in town has been about children and the school system, but just because none of my children are still in public school here, doesn't mean the decisions being made don't impact me. A good educational system benefits all of us, and not just here in town. The children we educate will go out into the wider world and make their way. As a town, it's important that we do whatever we can to avoid releasing a generation of young people into the world who haven't had a decent education. Lately, the issue we've all heard the most about doesn't concern the nuts and bolts of funding our schools, hiring teachers, purchasing the right equipment and books, but rather it's about naming the newest school in town. It's to be expected that there are a gazillion opinions, and it's to their credit that the School Committee narrowed it down to just a few choices. Then the debates began. On social media and websites set up for information, the thoughts were flying around. Comments, concerns, and more than a few arguments over this, that, or the other thing. Finally, the decision was made, and the new school will be named the Lucretia and Joseph Brown Elementary School. Naming it that was my first choice, so I'm happy they picked it, and now that debate can end, and we can continue swinging at each other on social media on other topics.

 At the Zoom meeting of the School Committee, there were other items on the agenda that were being considered, the main one being a plan to get schools reopened, safely, but soon. There are a ton of moving parts involved in a decision like this, and once again, kudos to the parents, educators, volunteers, and staff that have been trying to make it work. During the portion of the meeting that invited public comment, I was trying to cook dinner, while finishing up some research on an article about vintage kitchen appliances, and annoying my daughter with TikTok videos. I glanced over and noticed a student was speaking, and he wasn't mentioning infection rates, or six-foot distancing, or union contracts. He was speaking about his friends, about himself, and the very real mental health struggles that are happening with high school students. He was firm in his conviction that there is a crisis happening and it's about more than budgets, masks, and disinfectants. 

He spoke eloquently about missing his friends, about having to hear over and over how miserable many of them are, how hopeless some of them feel, and he wanted the adults to know, that, well, the kids are not okay. All of the back and forth about the name of the school, hybrid or remote learning, cohorts, vaccinations, pool testing, and the rest have taken up endless hours of debate and yet, guess what many of us, the adults that are supposed to be looking out for them, didn't know? We didn't know how many kids are really up against it, mentally. We didn't know how hard this has been, how lost some of these kids have become, and how desperate they are to be heard. They're sad, they're scared, and many of them don't know where to go with it all. Thank goodness this young man spoke up. Now it's our job to listen, and to act. The school has been named, and I'm hopeful that means that there will be more education about the Browns, their contributions, who they were, and what they meant to our community. Since that is now settled, what's next? 

I think it has to be our kids, our students, our future. They're it; they will be running this world before too long, how can we not prioritize their issues, and get them the support and help they need? As adults charged with running a school system and as parents and caregivers who are raising children, we kind of have one job: don't screw up the kids. I believe most of us are doing the best we can, but now that we know there is more that is needed? Let's do it and do it fast. Yes, it's easier to say that here, than it is to jump in and do the work, but at least now we have heard, from the real stakeholders in our public education system, the students. Thank you Niall Kearney, for speaking up. I hope we can help. The video below is the School Committee meeting from 2/4/21. If you'd like to hear Niall for yourself, fast forward to about the 24:00 minute mark. Also, please note, the video settings do not allow for the video to play here. When it comes up unavailable, please click where it says "Watch on YouTube" Here is the direct link for anyone who wants it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlTdkfhwlHg

Home Repair or Kitchen Fail?

“I watch HGTV like a maniac, and when it’s bad it’s like some crazy college guy watching a football game.” 

--- Melissa McCarthy 

 HGTV is like some kind of alternate universe, where everyone is thin, rich, and knows how to swing a hammer without winding up in an ambulance with a gaping head wound. Even so, it’s on a lot at my house. Mostly, it’s my innate nosiness. I want to see everyone’s living room and kitchen, I want to check out their pantry shelves, and see what they have and how they put it away. Most people watch these shows to get ideas on what they might want to do with a renovation or a redecorating project. Somehow that piece is missing with me. 

Sure, there’s a ton of inspiration, and some of the ideas would really help me fix up my own space, but let’s face it: that’s never happening. We’re still in this pandemic and while it’s not a full lockdown, it’s winter and wicked cold, so regardless of the ‘Rona, this is my season to cocoon inside and wait for the Spring thaw. One would think that means there is time for little DIY projects, and home improvements. Not so much. I know my limits, and nothing in my skillset would get me through a renovation or remodel with all my fingers still attached.

 I mopped a floor once and wound up with a concussion. Candles and open flames are not allowed near me, because you accidentally start one small fire and your family is all, “Something is wrong with you, you’re gonna kill us all someday.” To be fair, they say the same thing every time I try to cook Thanksgiving dinner, which is why we wound up with Chinese takeout this year, since we couldn’t gather with friends and family who can cook without needing a fire extinguisher. 

 Nails and hammers and drills, oh my! Not everyone is talented with tools; at least I know that about myself and act accordingly. So imagine the dilemma at our house this past week, when, all of a sudden, the oven door was stuck shut. It wouldn’t budge, honestly, the nuclear codes could have been safe in there. Now, I know that oven doors lock when the self-clean feature is turned on, but that’s the only time. One look inside the oven and it was clear that the cleaning cycle had not been run recently, if ever. Sure, I’ve wiped out the odd pizza cheese spill or burnt cookie dough, but clean an oven? That’s a hospital trip for me, and this is no time to be in an ER. 

So how did the door get locked? It’s not like anything you put in an oven needs to be secured. That turkey or roast beast is long past it’s running days. I started to get worried that somewhere in the hinges or the door assembly, some scary little cheese-eating rodent was stuck. We had an unwelcome visitor last fall, and the little beast was quickly dispatched with a nice piece of cheese and a loaded spring mechanism. Hopefully none of his little friends were back to exact their revenge. 

 After a day of peering behind it with a flashlight and taking the pans out of the bottom drawer, I could tell nothing was dead or dying, but the door remained stuck fast. There are probably stove people you can call, that come out and fix things, but they probably charge an arm and a leg just to pull into your driveway, so that’s when I turned to my old faithful Internet, specifically, YouTube. 

There are videos on there about every kind of home repair you could imagine, from leaky sinks to fixing a broken window. Everything I watched about oven doors pointed to the self-clean feature and that’s where I got stuck. There are about twenty-seven buttons, knobs and dials on my stove, and that’s about twenty-five too many. Was there some random oven cleaning karmic ghost in my kitchen, just messing with me, holding my oven hostage until I Easy-Offed it? Well, sort of. After about the 10th video, one of the home repair experts said that if there had been a recent power outage or even just a blown fuse, the electronic panel of the oven could kick it into lock mode, as a safety feature. 

Safety? Sorry Samsung, you’re late to the game, if you wanted me to be safe around an oven, you’d have sent me a helmet and a hazmat suit. Since it seemed the problem might be tech-related vs. structural, I decided to use the “Tech support two-step” method. Unplug it and then plug it back in. Honest to Dog, you’d think I was Moses and had parted the Red Sea when it sprang back on with a couple of beeps and the door opened like magic. I had fixed a home appliance. In a kitchen no less! No ambulance, no hammer-bashed thumbs, no broken glass or stitches, just success. I still won’t be turning out gourmet meals, and certainly HGTV isn’t going to come along and offer me my own show, but for one brief moment, I had conquered a home repair. It feels good to do something you thought you couldn’t so that’s the lesson I’m taking from this: try it, what’s the worst that could happen? Stay tuned, the washer has been making a funny noise, maybe I’ll look that up next.

The Myth of Multitasking

 "There's a temptation to multitask everything, but you can't multitask presence"

---Cindy Crawford

I love it when a supermodel can also speak coherently and wisely. It keeps me from hating them and their perfect bodies, great hair, and cute boyfriends. Multitasking seems to be this standard that has been set as if it's the goal, the brass ring, the one talent we all need. It will solve every problem and allow us to overcome any obstacle. We just have to do more, all at once if possible, and there you have it, success on every level.

OK, are we done laughing yet?

No one can pay attention to everything around them; some things are going to get ignored. Not a problem for me; I can ignore stuff better than most. One look at my kitchen sink and the disorderly bookshelves in my living room will tell you that. Multitasking is how many people cope with a very busy schedule. Sometimes, there simply isn't time to get everything done if they only work on one thing at a time. To a certain extent, we all multitask. Lots of people walk around the house straightening up the clutter while talking on the phone and getting dinner ready, right? I mean, I've never done that, but I hear it happens. So, sure, it's possible. But is it really what we should be doing, in all areas of our lives?

Say you're driving down the street, the radio in your car is on, maybe a kid is singing "Baby Shark" or some other vocal torture is happening. There's traffic because other people have the nerve to be out when you're out. Your GPS is pinging because you missed a turn, and you decide that this is a good time to answer a text from your boss about the cover sheets on your TPS reports. Why would anyone do this? What is the benefit? If you text and drive, it's eventually going to go very badly for you, and perhaps others as well. Why is it that multitasking is so prevalent in cars? Everyone is in their car like it's some bubble of safety, where nothing bad can happen. Right. What could possibly go wrong in a 3,000-pound piece of machinery, hurtling down the road at 35 mph, while the driver sends a text, takes a call, drinks coffee, and touches up their lipstick in the rearview?

So OK, we shouldn't multitask while driving, got it. What about while working? Honestly, I know lots of highly productive people, and they are the ones that have 57 tabs open on their computer, while in a meeting, delivering a PowerPoint presentation, and probably knitting hats for babies while they're at it. I envy this ability. It just seems so efficient, but, neurologically, it's really not.

There's research, once again, we need to believe the science. Most people are not actually multitasking, at least as far as what's happening in their brains. When you do one thing, that you know how to do, it's learned memory, and your brain recalls it. We all know how to put the key in the ignition and start the car, followed by snapping on the seatbelt and looking in the rearview mirror. Our brains have learned that, but it needs to be recalled each time. This takes mere nanoseconds, but it has to happen.

The work we have to do to learn something new, however, is also a drain on brain function, so while you're getting ready to back out of the driveway, you really cannot be processing the news on the radio or the latest school drama from your kid. There's only so much that can happen at the same time inside your noggin. When you multitask, your brain isn't doing double duty. It's switching back and forth, from one task to another, this to that and back again, like a rabbit on Red Bull. Neither task gets the full bandwidth though; something will always be lost.

The same is true about being present for important moments, it's just way less scientific. If you're at your kid's school play, that you've never seen, but you're shooting a few emails to your boss, making a shopping list, and scoring some points on Words With Friends, you will miss the dialogue, miss your kid's entrance, and so what if it's on video, it's not the same. Why even go, if you're not soaking up and enjoying what you came for? How do I know this? I have, at times, been that phone-addicted person, been that multitasking hot mess wannabe who just needs to get this one last text sent, check on that one email. Guess what? I missed out. The fun moments, silly kid comments, the last three steps at the train station, all big misses. Trust me, all of that hurts. Stay present, stay engaged, because multitasking is about quantity, and right now, quality matters more. The to-do list will keep. The one-of-a-kind moments will not.

Photographs and Memories

 “There is one thing the photograph must contain, the humanity of the moment.”

— Robert Frank

I have a love hate relationship with photography. In high school and college, I practically went broke on film, cameras, and darkroom equipment. The garage in our house was turned into a photo lab and I spent hours developing film, hanging negatives, “dodging” black and white prints under my enlarger, and framing shots that I thought were artistic, but were mostly tree branches with snow and trees with no leaves. All without a computer. There was no PhotoShop, no Instagram filters, and definitely no retakes of forty or fifty shots to get the perfect “selfie.” It was an accomplishment if I managed to set the self-timer on my beloved Canon AE-1, and then make it into the frame before it went off. There are more than a few family pictures where my parents and brother are smiling and posed, but off to the side is a random blur of red hair and an arm or shoulder racing to be included. 

My father was the original amateur photographer, but to hear him tell it, he was the next Ansel Adams. He bought a Polaroid Land 100, the very week it came out and he was almost never without it. That his Bell and Howell Super8 movie camera documented my childhood. Back then, I wanted to be in every picture, but that changed when I hit the awkward years, which, to be honest, continue to this day. My comfort level was behind the camera, never in front of it. 

These days I rarely want to be the one in the picture, and will try to find any way possible to stand behind someone else, or at least suck in all my bits, and place a book or an unsuspecting pet over anything that can’t be contained. Recently, however, I met local photographer Fred Marco and we got to talking about photos, self-esteem, and how it should be about capturing moments and memories, rather than causing an existential hair crisis. Fred had photographed my daughter, for her senior pictures, so I knew he was proficient, but of course, Devin is eighteen and gorgeous, and I am…older and not. Fred said it didn’t matter, that his approach was to bring out what is unique and wonderful about all of his subjects. I couldn’t imagine how he was going to capture sarcasm and a snarky attitude on film, but another friend offered us the use of his beautiful Edsel (I will never understand how those cars didn’t catch on) and the fall colors were blooming, so why not? Besides, the tail fins on an Edsel can hide anything. A date was set, the weather cooperated and in the high school parking lot, on a sunny Saturday afternoon, it was like a shoot for Vogue. Well, not really, since I am no cover girl, but still, it was quite something.

Here’s the thing about good photographers. They know their cameras and equipment. They understand about lighting, about posing and how to get the best results. They understand f stops and apertures. A good photographer has all that down pat. There is a technical part of talent, but the most important part of photographing people is about understanding who the subject is, aside from appearances and size and, in my case, an inside voice that is screaming, “Jeeez, he’s gonna need a wide angle lens and boat tarp for this unless he shoots me from the nose up!” Fred was nothing short of amazing, considering he was dealing with a fifty-something neurotic mess who had to borrow clothes from a much more stylish friend (thank you Katy, you’re a lifesaver, as always.) I couldn’t tell you what kind of camera he had, or what lens he used, or how he decided which shots to take from where, but I will never forget how he managed to make me laugh, smile, pose, and actually have fun. That, my friends, is talent. Getting me, an expert in the art of gut sucking and hiding behind furniture, to perch precariously on the bumper of a classic car, in heels, without looking like something was stuck up my nose, is an accomplishment that only the best and the bravest of photographers can achieve, and Fred managed it, while cracking jokes and putting me at ease. 

Fred showed me that posing for a photo doesn’t have to trigger an urge to pull a bag over my head or duck behind a tree. He figured out what would work, and while some of it was technical, most of it was artistic talent and an understanding that, for some of us, being in front of a lens can be way harder than being behind one. If photographs are supposed to be about moments and memories, these photos did that and more. It’s a new year, and while it might not mean there is a new me, working with Fred Marco gave me a new attitude. For one sunny afternoon, I felt like a super model instead of merely supersized. Check him out at https://www.fredmarcophotography.com/